Long time ago many women’s validation for their life came from their husband and how many kids they could push out, but today’s a new day, thank God. A woman doesn’t need to be married to know who she is, and a man doesn’t need to be married to know who he is. Unfortunately our parents, their parents, our grandparents and ancestors before them didn’t always marry for love, they married for show, financial benefits or out of obligation. Many women stayed in unhealthy, unhappy, and even abusive marriages because again, who they were was tied to that man or having a husband. Many of them didn’t know who they were outside of taking care of their husband’s and home. I just thank God for the freedoms we as women can enjoy today. We are free to live purposefully and aren’t confined to the four walls of our home. We can now make an impact on the world. We are free to make up our own minds, and we can get to know ourselves without getting lost in someone else or their opinions of who we should be. Instead of our validation coming from our marital status, our validation comes from God! The post goes for men as well, because I’ve heard old people complain that if a man isn’t married at a certain age, something must be wrong with him. This erks my freaking nerves! No, there’s nothing wrong with being single, no matter what age you are! Marriage isn’t for everyone! Even Jesus said it. Matthew 29:11-12 (MSG), “But Jesus said, ‘Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked – or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.’”

Some people are better at being single than being married. Some people refuse to put up with a spouse who cheats on them, has outside children on them, abuse them physically or mentally and is toxic to them. Some people choose to stay in marriages where a person does these things to them. If they do, that’s their purgative, just like if a 40 year old man or woman is happily single, LET THEM BE. There’s nothing wrong with them not being or getting married! It’s sad how being single is frowned upon by some folks. They don’t care if they’re unhappily married, as long as society view them in a positive way, or as long as they have someone to validate their identity, it’s all good to them! I think marriage is great! I think being single is great! I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I know what it’s like to have your identity tied to your spouse, and I know what it’s like to find my identity outside of having a spouse, and learning who I am in Christ and how He sees me. So, if you’re a male or female and you’ve been getting pressured into marrying or looked at side ways for being single, continue to be who you’re at peace with! Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into doing something that they’re not even good at! Find God, find yourself and if it’s your desire, find you a life long companion, but remember there’s nothing wrong with being single as long as you are happy, fulfilled and living purposefully!

Love gave us free will, to choose to love or hate. He gave us the choice to trust him and be obedient to his Word, or to trust our feelings and take matters into our own hands. Whatever path we choose, we can be sure that his love for us is unfailing. Jesus died for us when we were his enemies. He loved us even when we didn’t have it all together. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of a family like that?  He never gives up on us, and his mercy is new every day! Everyday we have a choice to trust the God who created us, or to trust what feels good at the moment. There is no gray area when it comes to being a child of God. Either you belong to him, or you don’t. We all know the consequences of sin, and the final result is death, but Jesus came to reverse the curse. As believers, when we leave this life, we will pass into life everlasting. This walk isn’t forced on us, we chose faith over fear. We choose to live by what we know in our heart, mind and soul, and not what the world tells us makes sense. As for me, I’ve tried him, and I know that God is faithful. I’ve taken matters into my own hands before, and have done things outside of Gid’s will, and I screwed up every time. Thank God for his grace! I finally understand what Paul means in 2 Corinthians 12:9, that his grace is sufficient! I choose to use my free will, to live for God, through Christ, simply because he’s God, and there is NO ONE, like him! His faithfulness doesn’t have anything to do with how many times I fall, and that’s what motivates me to get back up and keep pressing towards the mark, again like Paul! God’s always there for us as his children (that’s favor), and he’s promised he will always be, even until the end of the world! Now who wouldn’t serve a God like that?

Don’t cry over spilled milk.

I learned this phrase as a youngster. My mom taught me this when I would make a childish mistake being clumsy, for instance; breaking a glass vase, ripping my favorite pair of jeans or losing money! 😳💸

Those are just a few things, that I would get upset or feel disappointed in myself about. Until ADULTHOOD! Oh the good old days of worrying about minor things like breaking a vase and ripping your pants, even losing twenty dollars! Although the latter probably would still make me cry! No one likes losing money, no matter the amount!

I’ve learned to apply this phrase throughout my life and it’s something that I now tell my children. One of which, who actually dropped a brand new gallon of milk on the floor and cried. I told her not to worry about it, because there was nothing that we could do except clean it up. I think that she and her sisters were more disappointed that they now had no milk to go in their cereal, that they had their mouths ready for. Pretty sure that they could taste how good the fruity pebbles would’ve been swimming in the bowl of cold savory goodness. Their mouths probably watered as they thought about drinking the fruity flavored milk after eating all the cereal out! Now that dream of their awesome breakfast was over. We had spent what seemed like an eternity at the grocery store, and I wasn’t going back to stand in those long lines for a gallon of milk. So after getting the milk cleaned up, they opted for a different breakfast.

Grilled cheese it is! Which filled their bellies just the same, but their minds and mouths still wanted Fruity Peebles, became that’s what they’d made plans for. Eventually they went on about their day, and the tragic accident of spilling the gallon of milk, became a distant memory. It did teach all of them to be more careful when holding groceries and pay attention to their surroundings. They know now, to only carry what they’re able to handle and not to be so anxious.

I believe that when we as adults spill milk, we should take the same approach. Whether your spilled milk came in the form of a loss job, divorce, health issue, rebellious child or whatever your case may be. Instead of spending life crying about what you can’t control, improvise! Life isn’t over, and as long as God has given you life, he’s also given you opportunity! So what it’s not what you’ve planned, but it also hasn’t caught God by surprise!

Sometimes, our plans and God’s will collide! However, when things seems to go haywire and fall apart, something greater is coming together! Disappointments keeps us from settling! Think about it! You would be content with being average, had God not allowed that monkey ranch to be thrown into your world. You are at your full potential, because of the spilled milk! Your faith has grown, because you’ve experienced loss. You don’t make the same foolish mistakes you’ve made in the past, because you’ve learned from it!

So when you get cow dung instead of a wedding cake, or a packed belly instead of a six pack, don’t feel sorry for yourself! Clean the mess up, work some things out! That spilled milk didn’t happen to discourage you! It was a plan to maximize your faith! The triumph is worth the tragedy ❣️

 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

To some it can be music to our ears, to some it can be a dreadful day and to others a piece of cake. No matter how we look at it we all prepare for that day, some people do it better than others. But this interview is different from the typical interview that you may be thinking of. This could be an interview of a lifetime. I’m talking about the dreadful “Dating” interview. I’ve compared these two things because they’re really more alike than different. Think about it. To get a job some people just fill out applications any and everywhere as long as they can get some money coming in. (In the dating world these people aren’t picky. As long as they can get their money😉, honey or whatever you want to call it😎. Others go for what they want and they build their resumes, practice the interview BEFORE the interview and when they apply for the job that they want, the employers will see that the person stands out from the rest. (These people know what they want and are going for just that) These type of people will not settle. It will take a lot more than a few dollars here and there for these people. These people are interested in where the company is going (potential mate), 401K plans (long term benefits and personal goals), and is this a seasonal (cuddle season boo thang), temporary (rebound fling), part time (“I only call you when it’s half pass five.” In my Weekend voice. Some people may even refer to the other person as their “friend.” The benefits suck most of the time. The money may be ok. 😜) or full time position (you are looking for someone with the same mindset that you have, career minded, stability, family oriented, faith, beliefs, etc.. Oh the money a very important factor too… VERY) You get my drift. Most of the time we get the interview before we realize because in the dating world our first impression is our interview. 🙆🏾 That’s why you have to be on point at all times because you are what you attract. 🤔😑 So if you’re tired of just getting your feet in the door (settling for less than what you deserve) and thinking with time you can make the person better, News Flash, you can’t. No one can make themselves better but that person alone and with the help of God of course. God doesn’t even MAKE  us be what we don’t want to be…. Don’t be stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of just because you’re scared to be alone. Love yourself and others will follow your lead. Never compromise who you are. Don’t be a side chick with wife goals and 20 years down the line the only thing that you have to show for the relationship is that you went from side chick to baby mama number 3. You’re still lost and don’t know if that was a promotion or a downsize🤔. Be smart. No one is perfect but you can get what you want if you’re patient and consistent. You may have to compromise but never settle. 🙂

We may hear this a lot whether it comes up as a discussion amongst friends or if you know someone that always receives the short end of the stick. 😉 You may even be that person .😎 Have no fear I’m here to give some insight to this mystery. Now that I have your attention let me direct you to a personal question. What is keeping you from making an impact on the world? I know a lot of y’all may be thinking. What? Yeah I threw a curve ball at y’all! Y’all was looking to left field but I hit it right. 🙃 Believe it or not I came across this pondering question while taking a dump! 💩 It may not sound lady like but it’s real. We all do it no matter how cute we are. Anyways, to get back on topic I want to make you think about something. It’s not the size but the impact. Now repeat the previous sentence…. You don’t have to be a billionaire or an A list celebrity to make an impact on the world. What are you doing today that will positively impact someone on your job, at home, at the grocery store or taking a walk in your neighborhood? It may seem like you have to do a lot but I assure you that something as little as a friendly smile or an encouraging word can be all a person needs to make their day. Kindness is contagious! Your act of kindness to one person can result in someone else being blessed and before you know it you could even save a life! 😊 So for the burning question in your mind. Size does not matter but the impact does! You may say “What can little old me do that will make an impact on this big world?” Be the best you that you can be and spread the love! Come on, you can do it! It’s not rocket science. So if you’ve been getting the short end of the stick in your job, relationships, finances or whatever it maybe, I challenge you to move some things around, change up your game, you may even have to deal with being in an uncomfortable situation for a while (come on Holy Spirit, I just felt something in my spirit y’all) but do whatever it is that you need to do to make your climax and not just any climax but your major climax! 😬 I may have lost a few of y’all again but I assure you that I am not talking about sex. I’m talking about reaching the point of it all and doing it at your BEST because it’s not the size that counts but the impact!