Don’t ever give yourself away to the point of which another human being has power over your life. Power over your happiness, your smile, your purpose, your day to day life, or how you interact with family and friends. When you give a person your everything, and make your life revolve around them and only them… you’re making that person your god, and you are putting your life in danger, because if and when that person walks away they are taking every single thing you’ve given to them, with them. They’re taking your mental health, emotional health, spiritual, and in a lot of cases physical health with them as well, and they are leaving you malnourished and on the brink of death. This is why it’s so important to seek God first.

Get lost in God’s love first, then love yourself without having to be attached to another person, and learn become whole. The wrong spirits know who to prey on. If you don’t know who you are, you will try to find your identity in a relationship or other people. If you don’t love yourself, you will also look for the love you should be giving yourself within a relationship, or again, other people. Those ungodly spirits will trick you into believing a person is your savior and they will use the wrong person to try to kill, steal, and destroy your life.

Your happiness and self love should never be tied to a person/people. Not your spouse, not your child, not your parents, friend, mentor, pastor or whomever. People aren’t perfect and not everyone has good intentions. Some people have ulterior motives. The wrong people will tell you what you want to hear, and they will manipulate you and prey on your weaknesses if you’re lead by your feelings.

Your identity isn’t found in people, it’s found in Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. God has to be your focus, not your feelings. For more insight, get your copy of my new book “How to let go and let God” by clicking the link below. ⤵️⤵️⤵️

Ever been in a relationship where the vibe was typically good, and one bad thing happened and it changed everything or at least it changed your perspective? Whether it was a good working relationship with you and a business partner, a personal relationship, a relationship between you and a family member or whatever the case may be, remember how the relationship was never the same? And I’m not talking about in only a bad or awkward way, but good ways as well, because it changed your perspective and “grew you.” Sometimes it takes us going through something uncomfortable in order for our lives to change; especially when we’ve gotten so comfortable with “how things are,” no matter the relationship or situation.

The Bible tells us, “In all your getting, get understanding” (see Proverbs 4:7). So when you’re so used to things going “right” or at least from your point of view, when things go left, before reacting out of your feelings get some understanding. That would be the wise thing to do. Understanding saves a lot of relationships (no matter what type). It keeps that awkward vibe from floating around and clears the elephant in the room.
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If you don’t get some understanding, then you’re just stuck with a big problem that both parties are too stubborn to try to resolve, because all they both see is, “the problem.” You can’t see each other’s perspective because something has come between the two of you and if you don’t come together in a way that resolves the problem (no matter who is at fault), then the two of you (or all of you, if you’re dealing with a lot of people) will either allow the problem to continue until it destroys one or all of you.

So, if you and a friend, a lover, a family member, a co worker, a church member or whomever once had a good thing going and something changed, but you believe the relationship is worth salvaging, then it’s up to you to be the bigger person. Tell them, “Hey, I’ve been feeling uneasy (or however you feel) about what happened between us, can we sit down and talk about this, because I value your friendship, love, etc. and I don’t want to lose you. Don’t be afraid to speak up! Let the person know how much they mean to you, instead of focusing on that one mistake they’ve made. We must learn to come together and work past our indifferences, and stop allowing our feelings to get in the way. Put your pride on the back burner. None of us are perfect, but we can do some pretty awesome things when we come together. ❤️ Praying for you!

It’s deeper than feelings, sometimes it’s bondage and you’ve confused it with love. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Isn’t that crazy? How can bondage feel like love? Sin is tricky that way, but it always ends in disaster if you don’t put an end to it.

I’m no expert in relationships but I believe experience is the best teacher, so I am being transparent and sharing a few experiences of my own and how I’m learning to prepare myself for the man God has for me. I’m doing a spiritual detox to rid myself of any ungodly soul ties. This spiritual detox consists of taking self inventory of what spirits are of God and what spirits are not and getting rid of the ones that not. Learning to deal with feelings of loneliness, boredom and the wants of the flesh in a healthy and fruitful manner, and keeping it all the way one hundred with myself and God.

If you can’t seem to shake a person who you no longer have dealings with, maybe you’re dealing with a soul tie? That soul tie will keep you going back to what’s comfortable or convenient instead of moving forward with your life and becoming available for the man God has for you. You will spend your life stuck in a relationship or “situationship” that isn’t growing and is preventing you from growing as well. For more insight, Check out my podcast by clicking the link below to learn how to break free of those ties that bind and becoming readily available to receive the man God has for you! Trust me, you want to listen to this! Click the link below, now! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

If you’re depressed, irritated or uneasy with them, then you can do without them! There’s a saying, “I can do bad all by myself.” If a person is already in a bad space before getting into a relationship, they don’t need someone who will bring them down any further! They need someone who will help lift them up! Now hear me on this, I’m not saying it’s up to anyone else (as far as people go) to make us happy or to “fix” us. What I am saying is this, a relationship should consist of two people uplifting each other. There shouldn’t be one doing the uplifting while the other is being idle, tearing that person down, or stepping all over the individual in order to lift themselves up! No! A relationship is a team effort. Now, will there always be happy days, absolutely not. Life will try you. Situations will test you, but the two of you must keep a healthy communication going, and fight together, not apart. Too many hearts are broken and relationships are failing because people want to fight the battles that arise within the relationship by themselves instead of together. It’s important to know yourself before entering into a relationship. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Know what demons you’re battling. Know what makes you happy and what doesn’t, but most importantly, be happy with yourself first! If you’re not happy with yourself, by yourself, then you’ll never be truly happy with anyone else. If you’re not whole by yourself, then a relationship will never make you complete. You must have peace of mind and love who you are first, or you will get with someone and depend on them to give you what you won’t even give yourself! Is that fair? No way! That’s how you lose yourself in other people, and that’s how you get into a relationship with someone who takes away your smile or leaves you confused, walking on egg shells or depressed. You gotta give yourself everything that you require someone else to give you. If you require love, respect and honesty, then love yourself, respect yourself and be honest with yourself first. Great relationships takes preparation. You must be a wife or a husband long before the marriage. Marriage should definitely be the goal, otherwise, what are you doing? No relationship is perfect, but healthy relationships consist of people who love God and love themselves. This is the only way you can be capable of truly loving others. The two people should also communicate often and build as a team. “A house divided amongst itself cannot stand.” (See Matthew 12:25) That not only pertains to spiritual relationships but any relationship. You must be on the same page. You must be equally yoked, again, not just on a spiritual level, but on a mental and emotional one as well. If you are trying to better your mindset, but you become yoked with a crazy person, guess what? You will become crazy. If you are emotionally broken and you get with someone who’s emotionally broken as well, the relationship will be toxic. Two broken people can’t make each other whole. Being with someone who’s just as broken as you are isn’t being equally yoked, that’s just being with someone who has been through a similar experience. That’s not enough to keep a healthy relationship going if the two of you don’t share the same mindset. So, work on getting your mindset and your life where it needs to be, before bringing someone else into it. No one willingly wants to be brought into another person’s chaos, at least no one in their right mind.

Some people allow others to take and take from them and they still won’t let go of that person who’s misusing them. What is it going to take for you to let go? Will you allow them to take your life too?
Listen, they’ve taken your smile, they’ve taken your peace, they’ve taken your joy, they’ve taken your money, they’ve taken your love, they’ve taken your time, they’ve taken everything good about you, from you! Then you’re left bitter, angry, confused, depressed, broke busted and disgusted, emotionally numb, with a negative way of thinking about yourself and the world… and yet, you’re still holding on to this person! 🗣 LET THEM GO!
Some people are already dead long before the casket because they’ve allowed someone else to take life away from them. They feel as though there’s no reason to live because they’ve made their purpose all about one person or in some cases people! Stop trying to force people to see you! The only acknowledgment you need is from God and then HE will open the right doors for you and bring you before the right people! Proverbs 18:16, “A person’s gift opens doors for him and brings him before the great.”
Your life isn’t meant to be lived fixated on people pleasing or loving a person to death! No! Your life is about loving people and being loved to life! Death follows destruction! If a person is destroying you mentally or physically, what do you think is next? Again, LET THEM GO! Love you more! Get to the point of which you say, “Listen here, it’s either me or you, and I choose myself! It’s okay to choose you when people aren’t pouring into you like you pour into them. Strong people needs watering too or else they will die! Period.

Don’t forget to get your copy of my book, “One for the reason of love.” ↙️

Sometimes, you have to love people from a distance… If they make you sick, literally, I’m talking about to your stomach, because you’re so stressed out, anxious and upset about how they’re mistreating you. Do not be afraid to love them people from over here. You let them stay over there, and for the sake of your peace of mind and well being, you keep your distance. Set some boundaries. You have to when dealing with toxic individuals, and don’t expect more from them than you should. Expect people to be exactly who they are, because when you get excited about their potential, those false expectations are only setting you up to be disappointed. Psalm 118:8 says, “It is better to trust in the LORD Than to put confidence in man.” You see, the problem with many of us is that we get excited too quickly. When someone’s nice to us or treats us better than we’re used to, we get excited, and we jump right in. We trust them, without testing their spirit. Just because someone makes you FEEL good doesn’t mean that they have good intentions. That’s how evil lures you in. The enemy gives you what you want and then he destroys you, if you let him. That’s why we must be on guard and in the Spirit at all times because the enemy is waiting to catch us slipping, but aren’t you glad that we serve a God, that even when we don’t know we’re in danger, He’s protecting us! Good God almighty! I could shout right there. That is why it’s very important that we remember Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” Our own understanding will have us somewhere jacked up… broke, busted and disgusted, because we put our trust in our feelings and allowed our hearts to lead us into the hands of people who mean us no good. You can’t trust your heart. It’s flesh and desires the things of the flesh. Jeremiah 17:9, says, “The heart is deceitful above all things
    and beyond cure.
    Who can understand it?” If you can’t trust your own heart, who can you trust? I’ll tell you who. The Spirit of God. 1 John 4:1 says, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God.
For more insight, listen to my Podcast, by clicking the link below, and feel free to subscribe to my podcast and leave me some feedback there as well! ❤️

You keep your options open… This way you’re being smart about the situation, because let’s face it. If the two of you’ve been dating for some time now, but the dating relationship is the same as when the two of you started, then it’s probably going to stay that way. If the relationship is going somewhere then it should be progressing. It should be more than talking on the phone, texting and occasionally going out.

Let’s say you’re dating someone and you’ve grown to really like, this person and you’re ready to take it from dating to a serious relationship. You two have a great connection, you’re spending more time together, the two of you have the same goals when it comes to a relationship and marriage but, they’re not ready to take that next step. What do you do? As I stated before, keep your options open. If you’re dating, you’re not obligated to only date them. If they want relationship benefits, they have to make that commitment in word and deeds. It’s tough having feelings for a person, but you’re unsure if they feel the same way about you. The thoughts alone can cause anxiety. So, what do you do. You talk about it with them. Someone who respects your feelings will be honest with you, even if the truth hurts your feelings, but at least you’ll know where you stand. Then you can make a logical decision to either be patient and see where things go (because again you’re only dating, therefore you’re keeping your options open) or you can call it quits. Do not be out here looking foolish, making commitments to a person who’s not making one to you. If you do, they could commit to someone else and leave you devastated, all while expecting you to be cool with it. The bottom line is, you can’t rush love. If you rush it, trust me, it will end in disaster. Be patient, but be wise at the same time. If you’ve been dating someone for let’s just say, a year, which is plenty enough time to know if you want something serious or not. You’re ready to commit and they’re not ready, then you may want to limit what you do with this person. I’m going to tell you why. Because, if you keep investing the same amount of effort, and time into building a relationship with this person, who clearly isn’t ready. It’s going to negatively affect you emotionally and maybe even mentally. But if you treat this person like a date, and limit the time, attention and affection they receive from you, then you’re not putting yourself at a disadvantage and you’re putting things in proper perspective. Don’t allow your feelings to get ahead of the reality of the relationship you’re in. Our feelings are selfish. Our feelings want people to be ready when we are, but it doesn’t always happen that way, but I will say that no person in their right mind will take a chance of losing someone they really love. It’s up to you to figure out if you’re being patient with this person or if you’re wasting your time. The best way to know if you’re wasting your time is to see how far the dating relationship has grown since the beginning. If it’s the same, then you’re wasting your time. If the bond is stronger, you’re spending a lot of time together, communicating often about love, life and your expectations within the relationship, then be patient, again keep your options open until the both of you make a commitment to each other. I think it’s silly and selfish to cut someone off who isn’t ready to commit when you are, especially if the dating relationship has a good chance of becoming something more. It takes some people longer to open up and trust people and even longer to let their guards down and love. As long as you can see progress, be patient. However, if there is no progress within the dating relationship, then you’re wasting your time.

When you experience real love, it’s a lifelong experience and an unforgettable experience. Which is why a person’s first true love is so special. The memories stick with people for a lifetime, and for some people, they’ll continue making memories with each other for a lifetime. For others, they may lose the person, but the love is never lost. When someone loses someone that they love, it may have them thinking if they’ll ever find a love like they once had. They think of all the memories they’ve created with a past love, and they want to experience that same kind of love with someone else. For instance, a person may have enjoyed walking in the park and having romantic picnics with a previous spouse, so they want to recreate those memories with someone else because in their mind (based on their experiences with someone they loved in the past), that’s what people who love each other does. Now, you may not like walking in the park, but whatever your thing is, you associate it with love. We all have something that we associate with love, whether it’s just spending quality time, or simple things like talking on the phone everyday. Not saying, these things defines love, but because you and someone you loved, did those things, you associate love with that, and you want to do that with a potential spouse. Recently, I’ve realized, love is something that the two people in it has to make their own. Just because you and your ex enjoyed romantic picnics in the park, doesn’t mean that you have to take your future spouse to the park to prove your love to them or them to you. That was something you and your ex (who is a totally different person) did. That was y’all thing. It’s not fair to try to bring a thing of the past into your future. If you’re doing this, it means you’re not over your ex, and let me just say this, it is possible to love someone and be over them at the same time. You can love someone forever and the relationship not last forever, for whatever reasons. I think when you’re mature enough to accept that (if that’s your situation) then that’s when you’re okay to at least start dating again. When you do start dating, you must be open to creating new memories, and not recreating old ones with new people. What if your new found love, hates the great outdoors? It will crush your spirit if you associate love with picnics and walks in the park. Again, love is something that the two people in it has to make their own. You can’t incorporate what you and Fred did with what you and Derrick is trying to do. You’ll only be disappointed because again, they are two different people and the truth is, Derrick may love you differently than Fred did, but that doesn’t mean he loves you any less. It just means he loves you, his way. So, my good people, be open to making new memories and be careful with what you associate love with because that can be both dangerous and disheartening and frightening at the same time. Learn the love language of the person that you’re with. It’s really not that hard to figure out, just pay attention and please remember, just because your new love doesn’t do what your ex did (as far as expressing their love to you), doesn’t mean that they love you any less, just different. It’s also important to remember that doing the same things you did with your ex, but with someone new, doesn’t mean you’ve found love again. There are some things that common sense tells you should be done between two people that are in love with one another. Things like communicating, spending time, trusting and supporting each other’s goals. These are only a few things, but no person is one hundred percent alike, not even twins, therefore when it comes to being in a relationship, you must learn how a person’s love language. Their love language basically tells you how they communicate, support or do/say things to show their love for you. So, be open to learning how your new found love, loves. It may not be what you’re used to, but just as with any kind of love, if you  both love each other the way God instructs us, it can last a lifetime.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Other scripture readings on love: Matthew 22:37-39, 1 Peter 4:8-11, Matthew 18:23-35

No one likes to be used. Especially, if they’re aware of it. Two of the very first reactions a person feels when their love or kindness is being misused, is hurt and anger. Those two feelings can cause that person to shut down and shut people out or seek revenge. Matthew 5:39, “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

Listen, Jesus isn’t telling you to go around letting people beat you up, or even use you! This scripture is more about not taking revenge on a person who has used you, or is using you. Hurt and anger can cloud your judgement and cause you to react outside of the will of God. God wants us to be more like Him! Think about how imperfect we are, but we still expect God to bless us regardless, and He does!

Not because of who we are, but because of who He is! He wants us to be the same way! Be good to others, not because they deserve it, but because God allowed you to be a blessing in that person’s life. Another scripture that’s important to remember here is, Luke 6:35 (CSB), “But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High.

For he is gracious to the ungrateful and evil.” If you are only doing good to receive goodness from others, then you have the wrong motives, and your goodness isn’t coming from a genuine place, it’s coming from a selfish place. God wants us to be unbothered by other people’s actions towards us, because that’s what true character is! If what people do to you, sways you, then you will be in and out of character your whole life. God wants us to be secure in Him, so that we are stable at all times.

Be kind, give to the undeserving and love without limits. Don’t be foolish, and believe that because you’re good to everyone, everyone will be good to you in return. That’s naive. Be good to others, and use godly discernment so that you know who you’re dealing with. Don’t go around with a sign on your back that says, “Use me!”

This is not what Jesus is talking about. He wants us to follow His example and be good to others regardless of their motives towards us, and He wants us to leave vengeance to Him! Deuteronomy 32:35 (b), “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” Being good to others without placing an expectation on them, is both wise and mature. It’s not about us and our feelings, it’s about Jesus, and benevolently sharing the gift that God has put inside of each and every one of us! ❤️

Be good to others because you’re a good person. Don’t let negativity affect the positivity in you! There’s a difference in being nice and being kind. Kindness is a lifestyle and being nice is an obligation… and favors… well… huh! That’s why it’s called a favor right?

The truth is, you never know when someone is doing something out of the kindness of their heart, or when it’s a favor! This is why I try my best to live this scripture, Romans 13:8, “Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law.“ Sure we want to know that people who we’ve been there for, will also be loyal to us to, but should we depend on them to?

I learned a long time ago not to put my trust in people. I hope for the best, but my faith is in God! Listen, beloved, just because you do right by others, doesn’t mean they’ll always do right by you, and when you are being good to others, make sure that there are no secret motives. Be good to others because God told you to, not because you’re expecting something in return. The Bible tells us in Romans 10:11 (AMP)

For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him [whoever adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him] will not be disappointed [in his expectations].

Listen, stop depending on people! PERIOD! The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:19, Christian Standard Bible

“And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Trust God, no matter how hard it gets. When things get difficult, God wants us to look to Him, NOT PEOPLE!

Not only that, but if you’re not doing something out of the kindness of your heart… 🗣🗣🗣 What are you doing it for? You’re setting yourself up to be disappointed! Whatever you need, you will find it in God! He will protect and direct you in the way that you should go! If you go to Him first, and trust that He will make a way, He will use people to bless you!

The thing is, you must seek Him first! Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” You don’t have to beg when you’re a child of God! Get Deuteronomy 28:13 in your spirit, “The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.

Stop stressing yourself out about who won’t support you, who turned their back on you, or who won’t return the favor! You don’t need a favor from people when you have the favor of God! He will supply all of your needs. Don’t regret being good to others, despite what they do to you, because your reward is in Heaven! It’s a blessing just to be a blessing!

God sees your good deeds! Don’t you know He got you? You may feel like people don’t honor you like you honor them, but let me ask you something. Are you living to receive a reward from people, or are you living to receive a reward from God?

Stop worrying and start standing on His promises! In Jesus name! 

Luke 6:34-35

And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.