Real love changes you, without ever forcing you to change, because we all know forced changed isn’t a lasting change. Real love brings out the best in people. It challenges the way a person thinks, it inspires and it helps individuals grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in many other ways without ever forcing the individual to be different. Real love is loving someone for who they are, not your idea of who they could become, or who you think they should be, because truth is… your idea of who that person will become or the potential you think you see, is no guarantee. People are who they are, right here, right now, today! Real love tends to make people better though! You cannot experience real love and stay one hundred percent the same. It changes you for the better! This doesn’t mean that you should ever begin a relationship with the intent of making someone better, because that’s a recipe for disaster! You may as well end the relationship while you’re ahead if you think like that, because you can love someone with all your heart (after God of course), and they’ll still be a crappy individual. 🤷🏾♀️It’s up to you to stay and love the crap out of them anyway, or leave them alone, and love them from a distance. They may care about you deeply, or even love you, but a change won’t come about until they want to be better for themselves. You may be great, but they can’t be a great spouse, friend, or whatever to you, because they have to work on some inner issues first. That’s why it’s best to work on yourself before committing to a relationship in the first place. You may think you can love someone into the potential you see, but you can’t. Only God can bring about a real, lasting change in people. Your love can inspire the change, but only God can bring about a real transformation, by helping them heal from past wounds or their own way of thinking. Learn to love people for who they are with no intentions of changing them… EVER! You’ll have so much more peace, when you stop worrying about a person’s life and put it in God’s hands; especially when you worry more about their life than they do their own! I know it can be hard, but real love, loves people through their mess. You may not always understand them, but love them anyway. You don’t have to condone certain things or agree with everything, but compassion is still necessary. God can use you to be a light or beacon of hope to that individual. The hard truth is, your love for them may never bring about the change you’d like to see, but if the love between the two of you is mutual, they will be changed for the better in some way… and so will you!
Ephesians 6:10-18 tells us how to stand firm in the Lord by being equipped with the full armor of God. The very first thing this scripture tells us to do is to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. It’s imperative that we draw strength from God and rely on His power that’s at work in us, rather than leaning on our own understanding, which many times is derived from the way we feel and has no real basis of truth, which leads me to the very first part of our armor; the belt of truth. What is a belt used for? To hold things up or keep them in place.
Basically our belt is our security. The TRUTH, is our security. Jesus said in John 14:6, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Did you catch that?
JESUS aka the LIVING WORD OF GOD, is the TRUTH! God’s Word is true. Stand on it, no matter where you are in life, and no matter what you go through! Don’t allow what you choose to compromise on, cause you to also compromise the truth. If you compromise the truth, you’re living a lie.
Sure, we all want healthy loving relationships, where we’re compassionate and understanding; but if we have to compromise our truth (who we are in Christ), in order to be accepted or feel loved by others, then we’re going about things the wrong way. You will never have to compromise who you are in Christ to attain real love. God is the perfect definition of love. Don’t feel guilty for being obedient to God. Stand your ground.
You’re not being unreasonable when you refuse to compromise on the Word of God. You’re not being arrogant when you boldly declare the truth! You’re not being ignorant when you refuse to accept anything less than God’s best for your life. Before Jesus healed the two blind men, He asked them if they believed He could heal them. When they opened up their mouth and declared their belief, Matthew 9:29 says that Jesus said, “According to your faith let it be done to you.”
You know what this means?
It means that your faith sets the course of your life. If you believe little, then you will never know your full potential, but if you believe big, God will do exceedingly abundantly above all you could ask or think! Don’t feel like you ever have to compromise the TRUTH! Stand on the Word. People are either going to love or hate you for it, but don’t be moved by how people feel about you.
Be compassionate, be understanding, and love without limits… COMPROMISE!… but never compromise the TRUTH! Your peace of mind and spiritual man depends on it!
Comparison cripples purpose. I’m going to say it again for the people in the back… 🗣🗣🗣COMPARISON CRIPPLES PURPOSE! If a person is too busy comparing someone’s else’s strengths to their personal weaknesses, how is the scale balanced? If a person is too busy dissecting someone else’s life, how can they get their own life together or walk in their God given purpose?
Oftentimes when we compare our life to others, we do it on an unbalanced scale. For instance: Jill is a natural born singer. She practically came out of the womb singing and has been in talent competitions since she was two years old, later it gained her a decent following base on social media, and now that she’s 18, she has a record deal and it appears as though she’s living the life. Kara is also a natural born singer who has been in talent competitions since the age two. She was also a baby model, and as she grew she became a promotional model for commercials, and by six, she had a regular role in a television series.
Kara is now 18, and is known all over the world for her singing and acting roles. If Jill compared her life to Kara’s, instead of counting her blessings, she’d see that they both have the same talent, but she’d wonder why things worked out better for Kara, when she’s been working just as hard. She’d wonder why it took her eighteen years to get a record deal, and Kara got her first gig at the age two. Jill wouldn’t be comparing their lives on a balanced scale, because although they both can sing, Kara’s also an actor, and because of the early exposure to the entertainment industry that she’d had as a baby, it has gained her much success. Kara also worked hard for her success, and it cost her years of childhood that she couldn’t enjoy.
Jill on the other hand, had a fulfilling childhood, and also worked hard to compete in talent shows, but she didn’t have the same exposure as Kara. It took her longer to get discovered. From a pessimist point of view, they’d only see that Kara has it made, and that they’ve worked hard all these years and don’t have anything compared to what Kara has. They’d look at Kara’s house, salary, and other material things and get depressed. An optimist on the other hand would first count their blessings, instead of compare.
They’d understand that life is meant to be a journey, and not a competition. They’d be thankful that their hard work is paying off, even if it took longer than it takes others. They’d understand Ecclesiastes 9:11 which says, “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.” In other words, this scripture is saying just because you’re the best at something, it doesn’t mean you’ll be in a high position or attain success quickly. Life happens! 🤷🏾♀️
The story above is just an analogy, because sometimes it’s not what a person knows, it’s who they know, but the same principle applies. You really don’t know the sacrifice. Oftentimes we see a person’s glory, without knowing their story. I believe that if we had a peep into some of the people’s lives that we compare our lives to, we’d thank God more for what we have and complain less about what we don’t. You don’t have what it takes to live their life, because it’s THEIR LIFE (journey) to live, not yours, and vice versa.
We all have a price to pay for the life we want, whether we have to give up something to make room for something else, or even give up someone, who’s been holding us back from becoming who we’re meant to be. Becoming oneself takes sacrifice! Comparing your journey to others will only upset and depress you! You don’t know what a person had to sacrifice to become who they are, so count your blessings, focus on your strengths, and know your true value. I can guarantee you that you’ll be much happier with who you are, and where you are in life if you do these things.
Lastly, don’t let things be your goal. The real goal is Heaven! Be blessed. ❤️
Hey y’all! I’m currently on vacay, but as always it’s TEAM JESUS, and today I wanted to share a little something, something with you all that’s been on my heart, and I believe it will bless you. If any of you have teenagers, then you know that teenage years are the most challenging years of parenting! I mean seriously, give me a newborn and zero nights of sleep any day, over a teenager and their attitudes and raging hormones!
I’m just kidding, all jokes aside, I love my teenagers, I have four, well one just turned twenty, so three, but it’s basically the same difference.
Anyways, God is teaching me to be more compassionate. Sometimes when one of my teenagers push my buttons and I want to ring their neck, God has taught me to change the way I look at the situation. Instead of making things worse during certain situations, thank God that things aren’t as bad as they could be. I believe it’s important to walk hand and hand even though you don’t always see eye to eye. Our children need us.
There has been many instances where my child or children have made mistakes, but I don’t dwell on their wrongdoings because guess what? I make mistakes daily and God’s grace and mercy still follows me all the days of my life! I go out of my way to be good to my children and I show them compassion daily, even if they wreck my nerves, because my love for them isn’t contingent upon their behavior. It’s the same way with God! The Word of God says in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
God loved us when we were His enemies and sent Jesus to die for us WHEN WE WERE HIS ENEMIES! John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” I couldn’t agree more! Anyway, the Holy Spirit moved me to share this with you, and you may not have a teenager, you may be in a relationship, or dealing with an uncompromising boss, or relative. When someone presses your button, simply respond with love.
Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you what to say, because in the heat of the moment if you aren’t lead by the Holy Spirit, you will speak out of anger and say something you’ll later regret. God wants us to respond with love. Learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Proverbs 4:7 says, “Wisdom isthe principal thing; thereforeget wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Ask God to help you properly assess the situation so that you’ll know how to approach it.
Remember, 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV), “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” Another very important scripture to help you keep things in perspective is this, Proverbs 17:9, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” God wants our relationships to thrive!
Oh, the irony of anger. Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s a thin line between love and hate?” How about this phrase, “He who angers you controls you?” When someone ticks you off, you’re angry because you feel like they owe you something, preferably an apology. Basically, you just want the person to right their wrongs.
What if the person never apologizes? Should you just forgive and forget? The short answer is yes. Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive someone who wronged him? He then asked Jesus should he forgive seven times?
Jesus said seventy times seven (see Matthew 18:21-22). In other words, Jesus was telling Peter to always forgive. Forgiving someone for doing you wrong sets you free. The longer you’re angry, the tighter the clench becomes. The clench that keeps offense in your grip.
You want to know what else is in that clench, the person who offended you! You may think you’re done with this person, but truth is, as long as you’re holding on to what they did, you’re not done with them. In order to heal from the hurt of your past, you have to let go! Another truth is, you won’t let go of the offense because you refuse to let go of the person… you still love them.
What if I told you that it’s possible to love someone for life, without them actually being in your life? It’s the truth. Sometimes it’s best to love from a distance. Especially in situations where being with or around this person robs you of your peace. There are some instances where distance isn’t an option, and so you really have to forgive quickly and learn to protect your peace.
One way to protect your peace is to humble yourself. You’re not doing it to please people, you’re doing it for God, and realizing this makes biting your tongue a lot less painful. James 4:10, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” Letting go and letting God feels better than the temporary satisfaction of revenge. Deuteronomy 32:35, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.”
Let God deal with people and most importantly, allow Him to deal with you! Loosen that clench you’ve been holding on to, and allow Him to work on and through you! The process may hurt sometimes, and it isn’t always going to be pretty, but if you trust God with the ugly, He can create something beautiful! There is purpose in your pain! If you enjoyed this message, click the link below to receive your copy of my book, “Betrayed with a kiss.”
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So, today I stumbled across this 2002 Korean film called, The Way Home. It’s a great movie that had me crying several tears, in a good way though! Anyway, it is about a spoiled little boy who goes to visit his grandmother for the summer. His grandmother is an elderly woman, but she still gets around well. Her living arrangement isn’t what the little boy is used to, because she still draws her water from a well, hand washes their clothes and hang them outside on the clothes line to dry, and either grows her food or walk several miles to purchase it from local farmers.
Her back is humped over from years of carrying supplies that’s necessary for living on her back, and she’s also mute. The little boy is very mean to his grandmother. He calls her a retard. He yells at her and he spends most of his time playing his game. Throughout all of this the grandmother is still compassionate towards him.
She remains calm at all times. She makes sure he is well fed, and even takes special requests from him as to what he’d like to eat. He requested Kentucky fried chicken, and I cracked up when she brought back a chicken from a local farm, and she boiled it. The little boy cried because he wanted fried chicken, he even slapped the cup of rice out of his grandmother’s hand, but she just calmly picked up the bowl and the rice off of the floor and she didn’t say a word. I know you may be thinking, if she’s mute, she can’t say a word, well she could have showed her frustration through sign language or she could have done any other number of things, but her actions, spoke louder than any words ever could.
She didn’t allow what her grandson did, to change who she is. She remained unbothered, and whenever the little boy needed anything, she would come to his rescue, with zero hesitation. I’m not going to lie, I wanted to spank his behind myself for being ungrateful, but I kept watching. Eventually, the grandmother’s compassion began to have a positive effect on the little boy. He saw the sacrifices she made to make him happy, and he saw how selfless she was, and it moved him to show her compassion.
He began to help her out as needed, and even took care of her when she was sick. When his mom returned at the end of summer to get him, you could tell he was really going to miss his grandmother, although neither one of them said a word. As he and his mom was leaving, he ran to the end of the bus and signaled he was sorry to his grandmother and he waved her goodbye until the bus was no longer in sight. I believe who ever wrote this story is brilliant. The writer made the grandmother mute on purpose to teach the audience a lesson.
Sometimes things are better left unsaid. Also, it’s better to be moved with compassion than to be moved by anger. I’m glad I watched this movie, because it was just confirmation about what God had just told me earlier this morning. Someone pushed the wrong button on me, BUT instead of reacting out of anger, I decided not to say something I’d probably regret later, and I chose to understand where the person was coming from. I just thank God for transformation, which is still in the works by the way.
I used to be a woman with no filter. I told you how I felt, and could careless how you felt about it. Now I’m more considerate of others, and try to understand people a lot more than I have in the past. I try my best to follow the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I didn’t say I’ve mastered it, I said, I try my best, but hey, thank God for Jesus right?
Anyway, I hope this has helped someone today, and if you can check out that movie, do it, and remember how you treat others shouldn’t have anything to do with how they treat you!