That moment when you handle a situation well and God is like…

💕🥺

Our response to the things we experience in life, tells us where we are in life. It tells us how mature minded we are, areas that could use growth, how far we’ve come in life, and how far we have to go. When I was younger, I wore a chip on my shoulder. I stayed in defense mode, because I grew up in an environment where there was more hate and animosity than it was understanding and love. My family was great, and I’ve always had a loving supportive family, but outside of our home, the neighborhood that I grew up in was cut throat.

It taught me to be tough. You always have something to prove in that type of environment, but as I got older, God taught me how to get understanding first, how to be patient, humble, and most importantly, how to love people. I learned that I don’t have anything to prove to people, because I am confident in who I am in Christ. Jesus inspired me! People hatred, mockery, and insults didn’t faze Him, because He knows who He is!

I’ve taken notes from His life and applied them to my life. I want to have the amount of focus, and security within who I am in Christ, that what I go through doesn’t bother me, and for a while now, I’ve been living that way! People’s insults don’t bother me. Rejection doesn’t bother me. Negativity doesn’t bother me.

Whenever I’m faced with any of these things, it’s as if I am not. I continue to have a great day, and I continue to focus on what God has called me to do, because my calling is more important than what people call me, how they see me, and any weapons they form against me! Nothing can stop me from reaching my destiny in Christ, and the feeling I get when I know I’ve pleased God is greater than any feelings of trying to please myself or trying to prove a point to people. So, always respond in love my good people, especially when someone comes at you with hate for no reason. You can do more with kindness than you can by allowing someone to cause you to step out of character and stoop to their level of misery.

Misery loves company, but don’t entertain it!

For more insight, download your copy of my book, “Betrayed with a kiss.” Click the link below. 👇🏾

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Be careful with who you choose to confide in because some people have their own agendas. The wrong person will use your weaknesses and even your words against you. Your secrets could very well become everybody’s business if you tell someone whose loyalty can’t be trusted. We all need someone to talk to, that’s how we connect with others. Healthy connections makes us feel loved, valued, appreciated, and it makes us feel like we’re not alone in life. 

Confiding in the wrong person makes you feel the opposite of all these things and could send you into a deep depression. We all need someone to talk to, so that we can express ourselves instead of keeping things buried inside that could hurt us later. We all need each other. God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. This tells us that companionship is very important. 

If it wasn’t, God would have only created man, and no one else. 

God knew we needed healthy connections with other people in order to be our best selves! So, how do we know who we can trust? Start with a professional. A therapist, a pastor or Biblical counselor who is known to be trustworthy, or even a support group of your interest. 

All of these could be safe havens where you could freely express yourself without judgment and get feedback from people you can trust and who can give you sound advice. 

Many people in support groups share similar experiences that could help you in a positive way. Maybe their experiences can help you gain perspective so that you can navigate life in a more positive or productive way. You never know. Oftentimes we find that special someone to connect with by talking to a pastor who introduces us to someone with a similar story, or we find that one person we really connect with after being in a support group for some time. The main takeaway from all this is, talk to somebody! Don’t keep things buried inside! 

Talking to someone we can trust is how we connect with others and form lifetime bonds. Don’t be so quick to tell everyone your issues without getting to know them first. If you lead with your emotions, you could run people away or the wrong person will use your weaknesses against you. It’s best to talk with someone who will listen to you and if you ask for their advice, they’re unbiased, can give you a godly perspective, and someone with no secret agendas. Someone who genuinely cares about your well-being and is here to help you become your best self. ❤️

I’m here for you, whether you need to vent or you need advice, bring it!

Schedule a free biblical counseling session with me today via Facebook messenger, and don’t forget to get your download of my new book, “How to let go and let God,” by clicking the link below. 👇🏾

God’s will hurts sometimes. It hurts because sometimes it makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes us angry. Sometimes it makes us feel like we’re all alone. Sometimes, scratch that, oftentimes, His will is NOT our way.

The Word of God says, in Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

I’m often reminded of this scripture whenever I experience disappointment. The disappointment that I feel whenever things don’t go according to my plans is confirmation that God has another plan. Sometimes the plan is to keep trying. Sometimes the plan is to wait. Sometimes the plan is to be still.

What’s important is knowing that the steps you’re taking are in line with God’s will for your life, because even if the way that you went about it failed in your eyes, there was a purpose. Sometimes the purpose is a lesson we needed. Sometimes the purpose is to benefit someone else in a positive way. There’s always a lesson, but the greatest lesson is learning to trust God during those difficult seasons of disappointment and uncertainty, because if we are allowing God to lead our life, we are on the right track, and nothing that happens is by coincidence or by mistake. God has a plan.

Read a sample of my new book, “How to let go and let God,” by clicking the link below. 👇🏾

Fighting my way to the top of the water,

I just need some air.

I’ve been holding my breath for so long,

fighting to breathe… 

Fighting. To. Breathe…

The world beneath the surface is going in circles, but doesn’t revolve around me…

Sure, there’s beauty, there’s life, but their serenity makes me dizzy.

Everyone goes about their business as if the waters aren’t drowning them, and yet, it’s killing me.

They don’t know they’re dying, they’re just glad to be free.

If I could only get to the top and catch my breath, there would be no one on top to look down on me.

Hey, there’s a sailor navigating towards me, he doesn’t have a care in the world as the waters carry him downstream.

I’m fighting my way up, but he cannot see me.

In frustration and desperation, I make it to the top, but the waters of aggression covers my mouth.

The waters are good to him. He relaxes as it carries him wherever he wants to go.

”Help! I’m over here!” My yell sounds more like a dry whisper.

I’m weak and weary, and fighting for my life.

He’s no longer in sight.

I need a lifeboat…
I need, a lifeboat…

Do you feel like there’s a void in your life? Have you ever prepared to go somewhere (a vacation, to work, etc.) and you thought you had everything that you needed, yet there was this feeling that something was missing? If you’ve ever ignored that thought, there’s a good chance that you got to your destination only to find that you did forget something that you needed. It’s possible that you forgot about the item you needed because your mind was focused on where you were about to go, but at the same time your subconscious was telling you that there was something else you needed. 

Is there something missing in your life? Do you know what that something is? Is it a family? Is it the certainty of your purpose? Is it self love? Is it God?

There’s a difference between being whole and being complete, and it has to do with two things. Wholeness comes from the Spirit of God, and being complete comes from having attained the fullness of what we feel like we were put on earth for. You can call it your purpose, but really your purpose is a part of the puzzle that makes you complete. It sounds kind of complicated, but I’ll make it plain shortly. It’s very possible to be whole, to walk in your calling, and not be complete. That feeling of incompletion stems from our desires. If you are in tune with the Holy Spirit, God is leading those desires, so you aren’t wrong for having them! 

His Spirit is telling you that you’re missing something! Don’t feel guilty for those desires, like love. Everyone needs love, whether you desire marriage or not. We all need someone. Some people need a husband or a wife. 

Some people need a child. Some people need a cat or a dog. We all need love, and not always in the same way. The best way to receive love, is to give it. You can do this by walking in your purpose and doing it in a way that positively benefits others. In other words, do it out of love and not because you’re seeking anything in return.

I said I’ll make it plain, so, here goes. Wholeness comes from the love of God, and completeness comes from loving and being loved by others. God’s love fills the void and makes us whole, but the love from others and our love for them, makes us complete. It all has to do with love, folks! The Spirit of God gives us everything we need to become complete!

Imagine preparing to bake a cake. God will make sure you have all the ingredients to make a WHOLE cake! The cake comes out the oven, and it’s good the way it is, but depending on the person, you may feel like it’s missing something! It’s missing the icing! The love we want to give and desire from others, is the icing on the cake! 

The icing completes the cake! The cake is whole by itself. Not having the icing doesn’t take away from what makes up the cake, but it can complete it! On the other hand, icing without a cake is well… just icing… (Wonk, wonk, wooonk…) lol We’re not complete if we don’t have anyone to love. In the beginning, God even said, it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so He made a woman. 

Matthew 22:37-40

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

I learned a long time ago that when you go looking for trouble, you find it. It’s something about the intent behind a person’s actions… the truth of that intent always reveal itself in the results. If you say one thing with your mouth, but mean something completely different in your heart, whatever is in your heart  will manifest as a result of your energy, and not necessarily your words. 

Proverbs 23:7

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.

It’s so important for us to be aware of what we store in our hearts. The cause will have an effect. If a person is harboring negativity in their hearts, they are not only taking negative energy everywhere they go, but they will become a magnet for negativity. Check this out… even if that person is unaware that they’re carrying negativity inside themselves! So, we must not only be woke to the things going on around us, but we must be woke to the things going on inside of us. 

What we carry on the inside is eternal, so let’s make sure it’s beneficial to us in spirit, mind, and our body. Let’s also make sure that it’s beneficial for others. Let’s walk in love, positivity, and the light of Christ. Let’s make sure that we have pure motives, and there are no hidden agendas. Most importantly, let our actions glorify God, and not ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but I’m praying that my actions are honest before God. I want God to see me as honest, meaning my works and my words match what’s in my heart. After all a person’s heart reveals their truth. I’m doing a self evaluation and taking inventory tonight. Whatever is in my heart that’s taking up space, contaminated, outdated, and keeping me from receiving what God has in store for me, I’m tossing it out right now in Jesus name.

Where I’m going, there’s only room for love, joy, peace, prosperity, and positivity! I plan to not only carry this energy, but share it in all its authenticity! It’s a new day on the inside of me, because something new, has happened within me. In Jesus name. Amen.

Isaiah 43:19

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Pray before you speak in anger. If you be still and allow God to move on your behalf, you’ll be amazed by how God chooses to bless you. The person you may be impatient with could be the person who shows you the kindness and compassion you need to smile again. That petty issue that you’re upset about, could be a misunderstanding, and if you remain humble for God, and listen to His voice, something beautiful can be birthed from you not giving in to your anger. It’s easy to feel and give into those feelings, whether they’re justified or not, but don’t act out of feelings alone.

Respond with truth and respond in love. Sometimes we must be silent, in order to hear God clearly. So, quiet those thoughts, words, anxieties, and learn to be still. You may help lead someone to Christ, or the person you’re upset with could have a powerful testimony you need, or you may have the patience and gentle spirit they need to get inspired and put things into proper perspective.

Everything happens for a reason. You may not know that when a situation arises that you can’t make sense out of, but know this, you will be surprised at how God moves in your life when you don’t react in anger, when you stay patient, and when you remain humble. Doing these things allows you to put yourself and your feelings aside, and allow God to not only fight on your behalf, but allow His glory to shine on you. I challenge you to be at peace the next time you want to act in anger, and watch the good that comes out of the situation. You can’t go wrong when you choose to fight the right way.

What’s the right way to fight when you’re triggered? You fight by being still. How to be still? By not giving into your anger. Don’t allow anger to control you. Control it, by letting letting it go, and allowing our Awesome God to fight for you!

Ephesians 4:26 (GNT)

“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.”

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When God blesses you, show your gratitude by managing that blessing in a way that glorify His name. If you treat that blessing like it’s nothing, you’ll lose it, but if you cherish that blessing and honor God with it, God will increase you even more, because He sees how faithful you are with what you have. Let’s learn to be good and faithful stewards over the blessings God has entrusted us with! ❤️

Do what God created you to do. Don’t imitate other people, be your authentic self. When you try to do something God hasn’t called you to do, it won’t bring the same results as it does someone who is operating in their God given purpose. You will become frustrated and lose heart because you’re trying to do them, instead of doing you! Also, whatever you do in life, make sure you do it 100%.

Make sure all of your ducks are in a row. Make sure you know the facts, and make sure that you are confident in what God has called you to do. Have your business together. If your gift is bringing joy to people with your smile, then be the very best at smiling, brush your teeth, take care of your oral hygiene, because you want to be the best, at what you do! No matter your calling, don’t half step when it comes to your gift or something you’re passionate about, because going over and beyond is what sets you apart from the rest.

If you put forth half the effort, you will yield half results. Whatever you put out, comes back to you. So, no half stepping, and don’t do anything for people’s approval. Do everything as if you’re doing it for the Lord, and God will see that and elevate you!

We’re all different. We experience situations differently. One person may go through something that they consider traumatic, while another person may go through something similar and consider it, “not that bad.” Although we all experience situations from different perspectives, different backgrounds, different ways, and at different times, it’s important to understand that we also experience situations as different people. None of us are completely the same, so don’t ever downplay someone else’s pain.

Sometimes people need to hurt before they can heal. Sometimes people need to feel the fullness of the pain that they are carrying in order to release it. Don’t be insensitive and selfish, and make someone else’s pain about you. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Sometimes, people need a listening ear, and not a running mouth. 

A person may mean well when they’re trying to comfort others, but the delivery may come off wrong. They may think they’re saying something to strengthen someone going through a tough time, but if the delivery is off, they can make matters worse. We must learn to be more sympathetic to what others go through, and stop making their pain about us. Just because we go through things tough as nails, doesn’t mean the next person will. They could go through that thing and totally break down, so we must choose our words wisely, and don’t compare how well you handled a situation to how poorly they’re handling a similar situation. 

No situation is 100% the same because we are all completely different people. If someone was violated in any way, or has experienced something they consider traumatic, don’t shrug and say, “It happens,” or don’t try to excuse their pain, or downplay their feelings… Let them grieve, their way. It’s okay to allow people to go through the motions of what they’re dealing with. You don’t have to throw them a pity party, but you can listen to them. 

It doesn’t matter how you personally handled a situation, if you’re only boasting about it instead of trying to help the individual heal. Boasting and comparing your situation with theirs, makes their pain about you… again, it’s not about you. You don’t need to hate who they hate, or get revenge on the person who harmed them, but let them hurt, so that they can heal. Be a hug. Be listening ears. 

Be a prayer warrior on their behalf. Be an inspiration and a supporter, but never ever, downplay someone else’s pain. No one should ever feel like they’re in a situation alone, or if they’re somehow being overly dramatic about what they’ve been through or is going through. This is dedicated to anyone who’s going through anything. It doesn’t matter if the trauma happened yesterday or fifty years ago, do what YOU need to do to HEAL in a healthy way.

Cry if you have to. Scream if you need to. Speak with a counselor if you want to. Do what you need to do for you, and know that you are never alone. God bless you! ❤️