At some point in life we need help. Whether we fall on hard times, need help with the kids, help on the job or within our community, or whatever the case may be. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, and there’s nothing wrong with being a helping hand. A helping hand is supposed to help a person up. It’s no longer a helping hand when you or the person you’re helping becomes complacent, comfortable or dependent. When you’re helping someone, you’re working with them to attain something or reach a specific goal. The person you’re helping doesn’t put all the responsibility on you, and neither should you put all of their responsibilities on yourself, unless it’s your child… not your adult child, your child. Sure, you should help your adult child up, if they fall on hard times, but you shouldn’t be playing Lord over their life because that’s dangerous, and many people are doing this without realizing it. They’re trying to be God to their grown kids, their spouse, their pastor, their boss… meanwhile they’re stressed out and missing out on everything else God has for them, because they’ve allowed people to stretch them thin. They have nothing left for God. Let me tell you something, the world isn’t going to stop if you stop being everything to everybody! If you start following the dream God put in your heart, your loved ones dreams won’t suffer! The same God who has carried you, will carry them, but you must stop hindering them from reaching their full potential in life, by trying to be their everything. God should be their everything! You’re not the only person God can use to help people. It’s not all on you. Stop thinking, if you don’t do it, it won’t happen for them. It will happen, you just have to learn to let go and let God! Do what you can, without doing too much! You’re doing too much when your entire life is only about making sure this person is straight or that person is okay. Who’s going to make sure you’re straight, if you’re too busy being everything to everybody else? Take care of yourself. You need time to rest. You need to work on your own dreams or goals. You need to make sure that you’re maximizing the gift God has given you, and not just using it within your home. God has called us to help people outside our homes. Not just our family or close friends. Your gift wasn’t made for you to sit on it, because you’re too busy being there for the people around you. Find some balance. Be there for them, and be there for yourself. Don’t hinder yourself or the people you’re helping any longer. Teach them to be responsible for their life, and how to depend on God. They can’t walk by faith if they know you’ll always be there. What’s going to happen when you’re no longer here, and God has called you home? I’ll tell you what. God will continue to make a way. They will be thrown out of their comfort zone, and learn to walk by faith and not by sight. They’ll go through hard times but God will see them through and show them that it wasn’t because of your efforts, but His! So, don’t feel guilty for living your life and doing what’s best for your overall well being. You’re not being selfish, you’re being responsible for your life. No one is going to be angry at you for living. Life doesn’t revolve around them, God has many other plans for you, but you have to change your thinking. You can’t help others up if it’s weighing you down, physically, financially, spiritually or mentally. Do what you can without driving yourself crazy, and trust God to do what you can’t. I know you may feel like Super Woman or Super Man, but we’re not super human. We can only do so much, and the rest is meant for us to trust God with. Again, it’s not all on you. If you truly trust God with your life, then trust Him with your family’s life too. Trust Him with everything that concerns you. 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.”

Stephanie Jones was looking forward to retirement. She had worked thirty years at a marketing firm in which she’d spent the last decade as senior marketing executive, a long ways from her humble beginnings at the same firm as a receptionist. Stephanie had spent the last five years of her life as a widow, raising her three children. The two oldest were attending college, and her last child would soon be graduating high school. Everything seemed to be falling in order, according to her plans. She would retire the same year her senior would graduate high school and begin college, and then she would travel, enjoy life and maybe get back on the dating scene, but then her plans suddenly changed. Her daughter got pregnant in high school, and it changed everything. She felt devastated. She didn’t want to raise another child, it was time for her to start back enjoying her life, but she couldn’t abandon her daughter either. So, instead of retiring, she continued to work to support her daughter and now her grandson. During her daughter’s pregnancy, Stephanie went through a deep depression, and always questioned God as to why this had to happen to her? She had plans for her life… but God had other plans. Stephanie didn’t understand God’s plans, but she trusted God, and believed that even during this trying time, all things were working for her good. Oftentimes Stephanie would get caught up in her feelings, but God would remind her not to think of herself, but to think of what her daughter may be going through. Getting pregnant out of wedlock and becoming a single mom was a consequence for her daughter’s sin, but it could have been worse. Although Stephanie battled her own demons during her daughter’s pregnancy, she helped her daughter overcome her demons, depression and she was there for her child every step of the way. Her daughter not only graduated high school on time, but she delivered a healthy baby boy, thanks to God and Stephanie’s support. All the mixed emotions Stephanie previously had vanished when she met her grandson at birth. Seeing him was better than seeing all the wonders of the world, and she praised God. Shortly after her grandson was born, Stephanie was offered the CEO position at the marketing firm, she worked. Stephanie couldn’t believe it. Never in a million years would she have imagined ever being in that position, she was just up for retirement a year ago, but because of unforeseen circumstances, she decided to stay. God worked it out for her good. He taught her that a little patience, compassion and complete trust in Him, would take her a long way. Now Stephanie gets to travel the world at her jobs expense. Not only does she travel the world, but she has been dating. Everything she wanted is falling into place, just not the way she thought it would. Stephanie not only lives by, but can testify to Proverbs 16:3 (CEV), “Share your plans with the LORD, and you will succeed.” God knows our heart, and He wants to give us our hearts desire, but sometimes if we’re not careful, we’ll think that our life is only about our desires, when God wants to use those desires to bring about His perfect plan. Our life is not our own. This is why it’s important to make room for God’s will. Share your plans with Him, and those plans will succeed, because nothing God does can fail. Our plans may not happen in our timing or how we planned, but they will come to past and God will exceed our expectations if we trust Him. Sometimes we need the lesson more than we need the blessing, and once we’ve passed the test, then we can enjoy the benefits of our faith and God’s grace. If you’re going through anything that you don’t understand, ask God for wisdom. His Word says, He’ll give it to you without finding fault in you. Don’t ask God why something is happening to you. Ask Him what is He trying to teach you during this season. All too often we want the blessing, but the lesson is what we really need, so that we’re stronger, wiser and capable of managing what God has for us. ❤️

Psalm 37:4

”Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

When a person is hurting, all they can think about is how they feel at the moment. Think about it, if you fall and hurt yourself (God forbids), you’re not going to call your loved one to see if they’re okay from your fall! You’re going to make sure that you’re straight. You’re going to make sure that you’re getting better. The same thing happens when we’ve been hurt emotionally. We make sure that we’re straight, but oftentimes instead of dealing with the root of the problem, we pacify it, or unfortunately, use other people as a bandaid or Tylenol to temporarily suppress our real issues. When we’re emotionally hurt, we’re not checking to see if someone else is okay, we only care about what we’re feeling and that’s what healing is so important. If we don’t take time to heal from the pain of our past, we’ll find ourselves dumping our insecurities, hurt and frustrations onto other people.  Subconsciously, we’ll blame them for how we feel about ourselves or we’ll use them as a pacify to soothe our inner issues not taking into account how they feel. Hurting others will not make your hurt any less painful. As a matter of fact, it’s like rubbing salt in your wounds, because in the end, you come out losing for being dishonest, deceitful and selfish. Take time to heal, the last thing you want is for the pain of your past to spill over into your present and get in the way of future blessings! Don’t mess it up for yourself. If you need a break from the dating scene, then take a break and do some self evaluating, and self care. Your emotional well being is everything! Even if you’re dealing with something else that has nothing to do with relationships. Take time to get your heart right, that’s the only way you’re going to truly move forward, whether it’s on your job, in a relationship or life in general. Don’t become your pain. Again, take the necessary time you need to heal, so that you can live healthy and peacefully, emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. Take care of your heart so that you’ll know how to take care of others.

For more insight, read my book, “One For The Reason Of Love,” by clicking the link below.

When the enemy tries to steal your joy, combat with a praise! Declare, that you will YET PRAISE GOD! No matter what you’re going through! You see, if the enemy can rob you of your joy, then he can steal away your peace and cause anger, bitterness, resentment, depression and all kinds of ungodliness to fill your brain, but you can overcome that by listening to the Holy Spirit, and choosing to love, choosing to trust God in the midst of the uncertainties, and choosing to continue to walk victoriously! Your problems don’t determine whether you’re victorious or not, your focus does! Focus Heavenward! Look to the Hills! Not Beverly Hills either! I’m talking about the Hills from which comes your help! 

Psalm 121 King James Version (KJV)

121 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.

6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.

8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

You know, it’s one thing for us to know when we’re settling for less, but it’s a whole different ballgame once someone else recognizes that we are settling. Sometimes we become comfortable or complacent, and we learn to live with it until someone else comes along and give us a wake up call by calling our bluff! The truth is real happiness doesn’t have anything to do with comfort. Just because you’re comfortable with something or someone doesn’t mean you’re happy, but oftentimes in order to be truly happy you have to experience discomfort. Life is about putting in work. It’s not always about hard work but you do have to be consistent and committed. Most importantly you must choose to be happy whatever the cost. Happiness takes work, because not every day that you wake up is going to be great, but you have to make a conscious decision that no matter what you’re going to smile, be happy, kind, stay focused and trust God. Don’t allow life to beat you up to the point to where you’re comfortable with losing so you began to settle. When life hits you hit back even harder because you know that greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world, and you’re more than a conqueror! Hitting back may hurt you more than the initial hit you took from life, whether you’ve dealt with heartbreak, losing a loved one, going bankrupt, battling an illness or addiction or trying to overcome a painful childhood, whatever your case may be, healing will hurt at first, but it will get better in time. So, never get comfortable with settling in your pain or settling for less than you know you deserve. Your happiness depends on you making that uncomfortable decision and commitment to do whatever is necessary to live your best life. No one is truly happy with settling for less than they deserve, they just become comfortable with it. Comfort is not always beneficial though, in fact, it stunts your growth; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and a lot of times even financially. So today’s challenge is to really dig deep and ask yourself, are you truly happy with where you are in life, or are you just comfortable? If somebody else came up to you, and saw you how you see yourself, would you be happy? If someone else sees your truth, and it bothers you, you’re not happy… and it’s time for YOU to do something about it!

Whew Chile! Today’s vent is brought to you by the following… ⤵️⤵️⤵️ 2242EF0E-2D48-4686-8364-F29FAA04D703.png

Lord the mercy! 🤦🏾‍♀️ Look, y’all know one of my flaws is cussing. I tried really hard to think of something else to say, but when it comes to situationships that 👆🏾 is the unadulterated truth! So for those of you who don’t know, a situationship is essentially a relationship that hasn’t been defined. However… assumptions based on certain conversations, time spent and several other contributing factors, causes one of the people within the situationship to catch exclusive relationship feelings. Confused much? 🤔 Yeah, so are the people in these situations! Basically you do monogamous “things” without officially making a commitment… and that’s not the kicker! Lol The kicker is, even though there hasn’t been a discussion of being in a committed relationship with this person, you still expect them to commit to you… even if you’re not committed to them. 🥴 It’s a situation where they don’t want you (beyond their need of you), but they don’t want anyone else to have you either. They’re cool with having a part of you than all of you. You know what this makes me think of? There’s an old saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Listen y’all, stop giving people so much of yourself and expecting them to return the favor, and I’m not just talking about sex. Some people are out here in situationships spending their hard earned money on folks who wouldn’t give them a dime. Some people are spending time with people and they know doggone well, that they’re wasting time and the situation isn’t going anywhere… All I’m saying is set clear goals beforehand. Let a person know up front what your goals are when it comes to dating, and protect your valuables! Some people will tell you what you want to hear just to get you to hand your valuables over. Pay attention to their efforts. Are they consistent? Do they back their words with actions? Are they investing just as much as you are into the relationship? Listen, give it time. Don’t rush, and don’t stay in a relationship where you’re assuming all the time. It should be crystal clear who you are to this individual and who they are to you. If it’s not crystal clear, get an understanding. Again, don’t just fall for words, make sure that it’s backed with the right actions. If not, you’ll spend your life settling for less than what you deserve and you’ll compromise your self worth just to have somebody that you can’t fully claim. Who wants that? Especially if you’ve invested time with the person. Don’t be a person who’s in a relationship with someone who’s single. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It happens. Know what you’re doing and know what you’re getting yourself into. Some things just aren’t worth it. Wasted time is far worse than wasted money. Be wise about who you give your time to. A relationship should be an investment… not a robbery. Don’t allow someone to walk away with your goodies and leave you stuck with the butt end of the deal.

For more insight, read my book : “One For The Reason Of Love.” By clicking the link below ⤵️

Love gave us free will, to choose to love or hate. He gave us the choice to trust him and be obedient to his Word, or to trust our feelings and take matters into our own hands. Whatever path we choose, we can be sure that his love for us is unfailing. Jesus died for us when we were his enemies. He loved us even when we didn’t have it all together. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of a family like that?  He never gives up on us, and his mercy is new every day! Everyday we have a choice to trust the God who created us, or to trust what feels good at the moment. There is no gray area when it comes to being a child of God. Either you belong to him, or you don’t. We all know the consequences of sin, and the final result is death, but Jesus came to reverse the curse. As believers, when we leave this life, we will pass into life everlasting. This walk isn’t forced on us, we chose faith over fear. We choose to live by what we know in our heart, mind and soul, and not what the world tells us makes sense. As for me, I’ve tried him, and I know that God is faithful. I’ve taken matters into my own hands before, and have done things outside of Gid’s will, and I screwed up every time. Thank God for his grace! I finally understand what Paul means in 2 Corinthians 12:9, that his grace is sufficient! I choose to use my free will, to live for God, through Christ, simply because he’s God, and there is NO ONE, like him! His faithfulness doesn’t have anything to do with how many times I fall, and that’s what motivates me to get back up and keep pressing towards the mark, again like Paul! God’s always there for us as his children (that’s favor), and he’s promised he will always be, even until the end of the world! Now who wouldn’t serve a God like that?

When God has predestined you for greatness, no person can block, nor devil can stop, you from reaching the top! Keep soaring my friends!

If you love to read, download my free ebook on Amazon Kindle! It’s a inspirational, romance novel with a flair of comedy, for anyone who has had trouble forgiving and letting go! You will be blessed by it, that’s my word! Click the link below to get your free copy, which ends on 2/22/2017!  

One for the reason of Love ebook Free

Be careful of the words you speak, because like a seed, they’ll take root and grow in a person’s heart and mind. Many people are alive, and yet not living. They’re equivalent to a walking zombie, because of the deadly words that came out of someone else’s mouth. Words can beat a person far worse than physical abuse can, because words destroy a person from the inside, out. So choose your words wisely, and before speaking out of anger, and saying something you’ll regret, just walk away. Your feelings may be hurt for a moment, but deadly words will haunt a person for a lifetime.

Until you heal from the pain of your past, you will go through life hurting everyone who loves you, including yourself. Moving on is not the same as being healed. Forgive others, forgive yourself and take time to heal. 

One for the reason of Love, book coming soon to Amazon, Kindle and your favorite book stores!

Read an excerpt here . ➡️ ⬅️

Be blessed.

Author Shubricca L Bell