When you commit to someone who haven’t taken time to heal from their past, you are also committing to whatever demons they’re fighting. Give people time to heal from being emotionally abused and mentally mishandled before jumping into a relationship with them, because you don’t want to get into something you’re not ready for. If you blindly go into a relationship, without considering every aspect of a person’s truth, you’re bound to take on that person’s issues, and the next thing you know, you’re caught up in their battles, taking on baggage that you didn’t realize you signed up for. In these type of relationships, the person who’s just trying to help, often pays for a problem they didn’t create, or they become the enabler in a codependent relationship. There’s nothing wrong with liking or loving someone, but if they have toxic emotional traits, and they’re battling all sorts of things mentally, you may want to be a bit cautious about rushing into something serious.
In order to have a healthy relationship, both of you must be in a healthy mental space or one of you will be drained from giving so much of yourself to the other individual without them giving you the emotional support you need as well. That could also start a host of other problems, so it’s best to take it slow, and handle fragile packages with care. Rushing in too fast will cause a hard crash, and a lot of times the relationship ends before getting off to a good start. It’s okay to be the support they need, in order to heal, but do this as a friend (not a friend with benefits), while in the dating stage, and only if you know that the person is worth it. It’s also important to remember that it’s not your job to save them.
There’s plenty of positive things you can do to help them become better, but don’t put that type of pressure on yourself to where you believe that it’s up to you to free them from all of their problems. Nobody has that type of power except God, and even then, the person must go to God and accept His help, so that they can be saved and delivered from whatever it is that they’re going through emotionally and mentally. Remember, if their problems are making you anxious, confused, angry, depressed, or overly emotional, then run for the hills. The person who’s right for you will bring you peace and clarity, and not chaos. Let that person become whole first, before you agree to become one with them, and make sure that you’re not battling something internally that’s causing you to attract the same type of people.
Make sure that if you are going to commit to an emotionally damaged person, that you don’t have any hidden agendas, and you’re not in it for selfish reasons. These people have been through enough, the last thing that they need is for someone to come into their life and take advantage of their weaknesses, and not see them for who they truly are.