The dangers of being “just friends,” or being in a “situationship.”

Listen, when beginning a relationship, of course you should start off as friends and get to know each other. The best relationships starts with friendship. However, we’re not addressing platonic friendships today. Today we are addressing these “friendships” in which many of us call “situationships” today. A situationship is supposed to be an agreement or understanding that the two people involved do relationship things or marital things, without a marital commitment… Confused? Lol. Well, so are these people in these situationships or has found themselves going back and forth as “just friends” with a person for umpteen years. It doesn’t have to be a lot of years, it could be any amount of time. I know that I said a situationship is suppose to be an agreement or understanding, but most of what supposed to be agreed upon or understood is never discussed… it’s really just two people acting on impulse or emotion and not giving any thought to how it will affect them in the long run. That’s dangerous, because acting on what we feel right now, can hinder us later. We must learn to keep our emotions in check, and not to make long term decisions with temporary people. People who have no desire to take the relationship further than the bedroom or out to eat or whatever bare minimum they’re offering to keep you around in order to satisfy a specific need. If you don’t keep your feelings in check, you will block a blessing or blessings from coming into your life. In terms of relationships, you could block a man or woman whose good for you from coming into your life and being a blessing for you, because you’re still entertaining that “friend.” You’re still entangled. Even if you say that you’re done with that friend, are you? Or is your heart, mind and soul still connected to that individual? Do you still want to be with them even if the situationship has ended? Are you still lusting after this person? Do you feel bitter about them moving forward with their life and leaving you behind to be with someone else who wasn’t there for them like you was? Come on, let’s talk about it. We’re grown. We may be saved, but we’re also human! This is the danger that I was talking about earlier, when I spoke about how the decisions we make that are based on impulse or emotion can hinder us later on. Many people find themselves stuck in a ungodly soul tie for decades because they’ve been in this situationship with a person, doing marital things with someone who hasn’t given them any commitment. They’ve given them something that has made them feel good, but is not beneficial for them, whether it’s attention, sex, money, company or something else. Then when the person moves on, the other person is broken, confused and bitter about someone who was never theirs to begin with! You see how these “friendships” are dangerous? Think about how a person must view themselves to commit to a situation like this? Think about how they must view other people! It’s just a negative cycle of hurt people hurt people, because feelings will get involved. I can guarantee you that at least one person’s feelings WILL get involved in a situationship. It’s hard to get out of these situations, long after it has ended. Why? Because there’s an attachment there. There’s a bond there that can only be broken with God and with self awareness. You must figure out what’s going on inside of you, and what caused or is causing you to settle for a “friend” instead of preparing yourself for a life partner, because friends only treat the symptoms of a deeper issue within us, they don’t cure the problem. The problem is still there, if we don’t turn it completely over to God.
We settle for what’s comfortable and not necessarily beneficial for us because in our minds, it’s safe. It’s easier to have a “friend” than it is to have a husband or a wife. A friend usually comes with no strings attached, except when they do! (Ungodly soul ties)
We think that we can get out of a situationship whenever we want to, but that’s only physical. It’s hard to completely walk away when your mind and soul is still invested. Notice I didn’t say impossible, because nothing is impossible for God. In a situationship, you’re not really concerned about your heart being broken (at first) because you’re just, “friends.” You’re having fun, until it’s time to pay. So, before committing to a situationship (because there’s definitely a commitment involved, whether it’s given verbally or spiritually), weigh the cost. Finding someone to treat the symptom won’t fix you and committing to something that has no long term benefits won’t cure you. It’s a heart issue… address it and give it to God. There is someone out there who’s just right for you, you just need to let go of the wrong one(s), and let go of your past, and stop allowing those people/things to hinder you.

If you’ve enjoyed this, you will love my book. “One for the reason of love.” Download your copy here. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

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