You’re ready, they’re not. What should you do?

You keep your options open… This way you’re being smart about the situation, because let’s face it. If the two of you’ve been dating for some time now, but the dating relationship is the same as when the two of you started, then it’s probably going to stay that way. If the relationship is going somewhere then it should be progressing. It should be more than talking on the phone, texting and occasionally going out.

Let’s say you’re dating someone and you’ve grown to really like, this person and you’re ready to take it from dating to a serious relationship. You two have a great connection, you’re spending more time together, the two of you have the same goals when it comes to a relationship and marriage but, they’re not ready to take that next step. What do you do? As I stated before, keep your options open. If you’re dating, you’re not obligated to only date them. If they want relationship benefits, they have to make that commitment in word and deeds. It’s tough having feelings for a person, but you’re unsure if they feel the same way about you. The thoughts alone can cause anxiety. So, what do you do. You talk about it with them. Someone who respects your feelings will be honest with you, even if the truth hurts your feelings, but at least you’ll know where you stand. Then you can make a logical decision to either be patient and see where things go (because again you’re only dating, therefore you’re keeping your options open) or you can call it quits. Do not be out here looking foolish, making commitments to a person who’s not making one to you. If you do, they could commit to someone else and leave you devastated, all while expecting you to be cool with it. The bottom line is, you can’t rush love. If you rush it, trust me, it will end in disaster. Be patient, but be wise at the same time. If you’ve been dating someone for let’s just say, a year, which is plenty enough time to know if you want something serious or not. You’re ready to commit and they’re not ready, then you may want to limit what you do with this person. I’m going to tell you why. Because, if you keep investing the same amount of effort, and time into building a relationship with this person, who clearly isn’t ready. It’s going to negatively affect you emotionally and maybe even mentally. But if you treat this person like a date, and limit the time, attention and affection they receive from you, then you’re not putting yourself at a disadvantage and you’re putting things in proper perspective. Don’t allow your feelings to get ahead of the reality of the relationship you’re in. Our feelings are selfish. Our feelings want people to be ready when we are, but it doesn’t always happen that way, but I will say that no person in their right mind will take a chance of losing someone they really love. It’s up to you to figure out if you’re being patient with this person or if you’re wasting your time. The best way to know if you’re wasting your time is to see how far the dating relationship has grown since the beginning. If it’s the same, then you’re wasting your time. If the bond is stronger, you’re spending a lot of time together, communicating often about love, life and your expectations within the relationship, then be patient, again keep your options open until the both of you make a commitment to each other. I think it’s silly and selfish to cut someone off who isn’t ready to commit when you are, especially if the dating relationship has a good chance of becoming something more. It takes some people longer to open up and trust people and even longer to let their guards down and love. As long as you can see progress, be patient. However, if there is no progress within the dating relationship, then you’re wasting your time.

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