The same things you’re doing to get them, will also be required to keep them.

Be mindful of what you’re doing to “have a man/woman” in your life. Some people aren’t worth the trouble. It’s like being overworked and underpaid with some relationships. One person is sacrificing, compromising, giving their time and energy and doing whatever they can to keep the relationship afloat. Meanwhile the feelings or the effort from their supposedly “better half” isn’t mutual nor the love reciprocated. The efforts aren’t acknowledged or appreciated and after a while, this literally sucks the life out of some individuals. That’s why I want you to really think about who you’re making compromises and sacrifices for. You might be doing too much of something you can’t keep up. Listen, I get it. No one likes to be alone, but how you get them is how you keep them… I’m just being honest. If you’re the one making all the sacrifices and compromises, and you’re accepting the bare minimum from your partner, then that’s what they’re going to continue to give you, and I’ll tell you right now, that’s not love, it’s dysfunction. Love isn’t about one person going out of their way or character to prove to the person that they’re with that they’re “down for them” or love them, and if you are doing too much, then you may appear desperate, which gives the wrong one all the more reason to let you put all the work in while they sit back and enjoy the benefits. Listen, you are worthy of love, but true love begins with God and then yourself. You can’t really love the right way if you’re not walking in the love of Christ or you don’t love yourself. If you’re going to put in a heck of a lot of time and energy into a relationship, then make sure that the person you’re with is equally invested and be certain that a relationship (with you) is what they truly want. Some people have been emotionally abused so much that they’ll have you jumping through hoops and over fire to prove your love for them. Meanwhile, to protect their feelings, they won’t do anything to show their love for you, in fear that it will backfire… This means that this person has trust issues… Obviously, it comes from things they’ve been through in their past and those things don’t always come from a failed relationship, oftentimes the failed relationship is a result of a deeper issue or past pain. Anyhoo, you just have to know the person you’re with. It’s hard to do that though, if you’re doing most of the communicating or relationship building and they’re just chillin on the sidelines watching you. It’s unhealthy for you to continuously pour into someone and not get anything in return. You must not forget to take care of yourself. You can’t love them and neglect you. It will damage you mentally, emotionally and the stress will take a toll on you physically. So, if you’re in a “situationship,” I won’t call it a relationship because it lacks team effort amongst other things that’s needed to sustain a relationship, but if you’re in this situation, ask yourself this question. If you didn’t put in the amount of effort that you put in to keep whatever it is, the two of you have going, would the two of you still have this “thing”?Would you even be in contact? If the answer is no, then the next thing you need to ask yourself is, do you want a future with someone that makes very little to no effort to be with you? The answer should be no, for the sake of your peace and overall well being, and for the simple fact that you don’t want to be a “by default pick”. Meaning you stuck around the longest and put in the most effort while his/her other options came to their senses and left. Now you’re the only one around so, by default, they pick you. It sounds cold, but trust me… it happens. You don’t want that to be your story, that’s a sad story and you’re still going to have to be this person’s everything while they give you nothing… If your answer was yes to the question above, then you’re going to be tasked with this burden for as long as you choose. It’s one thing to fight for someone worth keeping, but when you’re fighting to be kept… tisk, tisk, tisk… Well… that’s a shame. Love yourself, even if you have to do it, by yourself… 

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