Accountability is everything, especially when you’re an adult. A person must take responsibility for their actions, and not try to push their responsibilities upon others because they don’t like the consequences of their choices or because they’re comfortable settling for less in life. The best way to help a person who lacks accountability is to show them some tough love. It can be hard for a person who’s used to being the go to guy or girl when it comes to a needy friend or family member, but the best way to help needy individuals is to tell them no. I’m not talking about people who’ve unexpectedly fell on hard times, and need help. I’m talking about those individuals who like clockwork, come around with their hands out, only because they know that they can depend on you. It’s one thing to help someone in need who has temporarily fallen on hard times, but makes a real effort to change their situation. It’s something totally different when a person makes irresponsible decisions concerning their life, because they know that someone else will take up the slack or because they’re comfortable being a bum or a leech… I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, “It’s a thin line between helping and enabling.” I have no issues with having compassion and helping people who are facing situations that’s out of their control or who have fallen on hard times. I do however, have a big issue with helping someone who is capable of helping themselves, but refuse to do so, because they’ve gotten comfortable with living above their means; and when it comes to “adulting” they put their major responsibilities on the backs of someone else. No ma’am, no sir. Make better choices. A part of being an adult is prioritizing and making necessary sacrifices. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our wants in order to meet our needs. Sometimes we have to put that monthly bill at the top of our to do list, and put going out to dinner at the bottom of our to do list. We have to improvise. Maybe make a nice dinner at home for 40.00, instead of going out and spending 100.00 plus. Being an adult isn’t about being comfortable or doing what you want. It’s about having the guts to do what you don’t want, so that you will one day get to where you want to be. You can’t get better results by doing the same old things in life. As a matter of fact, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” – Albert Einstein Adulting is about pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. No real woman or man wants to depend on other people to do for them as if they’re a child, when they’re capable (with God’s help) to make things happen. We are responsible for our own lives. When you depend on people, you give them power over your life. That’s why you should depend on no one except God!
Jeremiah 17:5-6 New International Version (NIV)
5 This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
There you have it folks. It’s not much more for me to say. Basically, looking to people and not to God, leads to poverty… If you want to really help that person, better yet, if they want to help themselves stop living in insufficiency, then they must seek God first and ask Him for wisdom. Some people don’t want to change their old habits or seek God first, because that requires accountability. God holds us accountable for our actions. He helps us, but He also require that we help ourselves. We can’t just want better, we must do better while looking to Him to sustain us. We can’t just want to maintain a better lifestyle if we’re not faithful with the life and blessings we currently have. That’s like saying, Lord, I want to go on a nice vacation, but every chance you get, you’re spending money on unnecessary things. The only vacation you’ll end up having is twenty minutes away at the Mall every weekend and then back home. Come on people, the Bible tells us, “Faith without works is dead.” – James 2:17 We must work towards what we want in faith! Not only that but the best way to help ourselves, is to deny ourselves. Matthew 16:24, Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” The cross of accountability can be heavy, but if you look to Jesus and not to people, He will make the load bearable.