Some people are so acquainted with dysfunction that they believe it’s love, but love doesn’t bring out the worst in you, it brings out the best. Love doesn’t provoke others to sin. Romans 14:19, “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” Humility is very important, it keeps things in perspective, because some people aren’t going to be easy to deal with, but it’s not about our feelings towards those individuals nor their feelings or actions towards us. It’s about, What would Jesus do in this situation or what would He want me to do? When our focus shift from people and circumstances to the will of God, we are able to put our lives into focus and live peacefully. Not saying that we won’t face trials, but we will have peace in the midst of them. John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” When you have the peace of Christ, you learn to put selfishness aside and allow His Spirit to work within you. It’s not always going to feel good to do so either, because our natural instinct is to do what we feel, not what’s right. If you don’t believe me, just watch a toddler for a couple of hours and when they try to do something like unroll all the tissue in the bathroom or take everything out of the cabinets, and you tell them no, watch them go back to do it again. As soon as they see an opportunity they’re back to destroying whatever they can, and they will fuss and fall out if you come back and try to stop them. Nobody had to teach them this. It’s just natural for us to want what we want, not what is right, but God gently pushes us to do the right things. Not for His benefit, but for ours. Obedience brings great rewards! So the best way to overcome the effects of dysfunction is to remain humble in Christ.
It’s not about pleasing people but doing what’s right in His eyes. 1 Peter 5:6, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”