Long time ago many women’s validation for their life came from their husband and how many kids they could push out, but today’s a new day, thank God. A woman doesn’t need to be married to know who she is, and a man doesn’t need to be married to know who he is. Unfortunately our parents, their parents, our grandparents and ancestors before them didn’t always marry for love, they married for show, financial benefits or out of obligation. Many women stayed in unhealthy, unhappy, and even abusive marriages because again, who they were was tied to that man or having a husband. Many of them didn’t know who they were outside of taking care of their husband’s and home. I just thank God for the freedoms we as women can enjoy today. We are free to live purposefully and aren’t confined to the four walls of our home. We can now make an impact on the world. We are free to make up our own minds, and we can get to know ourselves without getting lost in someone else or their opinions of who we should be. Instead of our validation coming from our marital status, our validation comes from God! The post goes for men as well, because I’ve heard old people complain that if a man isn’t married at a certain age, something must be wrong with him. This erks my freaking nerves! No, there’s nothing wrong with being single, no matter what age you are! Marriage isn’t for everyone! Even Jesus said it. Matthew 29:11-12 (MSG), “But Jesus said, ‘Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked – or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.’”
Some people are better at being single than being married. Some people refuse to put up with a spouse who cheats on them, has outside children on them, abuse them physically or mentally and is toxic to them. Some people choose to stay in marriages where a person does these things to them. If they do, that’s their purgative, just like if a 40 year old man or woman is happily single, LET THEM BE. There’s nothing wrong with them not being or getting married! It’s sad how being single is frowned upon by some folks. They don’t care if they’re unhappily married, as long as society view them in a positive way, or as long as they have someone to validate their identity, it’s all good to them! I think marriage is great! I think being single is great! I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I know what it’s like to have your identity tied to your spouse, and I know what it’s like to find my identity outside of having a spouse, and learning who I am in Christ and how He sees me. So, if you’re a male or female and you’ve been getting pressured into marrying or looked at side ways for being single, continue to be who you’re at peace with! Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into doing something that they’re not even good at! Find God, find yourself and if it’s your desire, find you a life long companion, but remember there’s nothing wrong with being single as long as you are happy, fulfilled and living purposefully!