Heal first date later.

Some people don’t come to add to your peace, they come to disrupt it. You can be doing great in life, mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally but a moment of weakness can cause all hell to break loose, if you’re not on guard. Be careful, especially when you’re vulnerable, because if you listen to your feelings, you’ll fall for anything. You’ll have false expectations for an individual and the expectations are false because this person hasn’t given you any proof that they are who they say that they are. They haven’t earned your trust. All you know is that you were lonely, they were talking right, so you gave them a chance. Never mind the fact that they aren’t consistent and their words don’t match their actions. You decide to give them the benefit of the doubt because you’re tired of failed relationships and maybe, just maybe if you compromise more, you’ll land that husband or wife… Ahhh nah! Listen, you need boundaries. You need standards, and the two of you within the relationship should compromise. The compromise shouldn’t be one sided. You shouldn’t compromise your valuable time for a person who only wants to spend time with you when it’s convenient or beneficial to them. You shouldn’t compromise your self respect, faith, morals or self worth. You shouldn’t compromise yourself, and what I mean by that is, you shouldn’t have to change who you are in order to be accepted in another person’s eyes or to be loved. If they know who you are from the jump and decide to move forward into the relationship, they shouldn’t force you to change. Period. Look, if you don’t like something about someone, and you know it could cause issues if you pursue any type of relationship with them, don’t get involved with that person. You want to know why? Because, 🗣You can’t change them. Only God can change people, permanently! Not only that people are who they are, not your idea of who they should be, and definitely not the potential you think you see. Real love changes people without force. God don’t force anyone to change, His love changes us! So, why are you out here trying to change people? Meanwhile, it’s changing you for the worse! Hey, when it’s real, a person will change on their own because they want to be better. A better human being, a better spouse, a better parent, a better role model… just better in life! When it’s real, it comes naturally. You don’t have to force them to act right, spend time with you, get a job and keep a job, be more involved with the kids, or whatever the case may be. These people had parents. It’s not your job to raise a grown boy or girl into a grown man or woman. They are not your kids, and shouldn’t be your potential spouse if you have to mommy or daddy them. God gave all of us common sense. People play crazy more than they really are. They may act like they don’t know how to love you right or respect you, but I’m going to tell you something. If they don’t want you to do to them, what they do to you, then they’re not crazy, they’re selfish. They know what love should be, they’re just not willing to reciprocate it, for one reason or another. Sometimes, they can’t love you because they don’t love themselves. People can blame their past all they want to, but guess what? We are responsible for the present moment and our future. You can’t allow what happened to you, to stop you from living and receiving God’s best. Get out of your feelings! If you’re jacked up emotionally, you shouldn’t be trying to get involved in a relationship until you’ve healed from the pain of your past. If you’re not healed, you’re just going to leave the next person broken. Be careful about who you allow into your life, not everyone comes to add to your peace, some people come to disrupt it.

2 Comments

  1. Hurt myself badly through allowing the wrong ones in. Lovers, myopic business partners, wolves wearing FRIEND cloaks – you know the label. Yup, if we enact upon any relations not absolutely ordained by God, we invite hurt, heartache and calamity. Let me spell that. Kalamiti. An awful thing.

    Rather ride alone into the sunset.

    Like

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