Is it worth it?

Being single has it perks, but there are times when you want that special companionship… Although we can do things on our own (with God’s help of course) who wants to live life alone, without someone to love? Nobody! Every single person on planet earth desires love in some way, but how many of us are willing to wait on the real thing? Seems like many of us would rather have fake love than no love at all. I know that sounds ridiculous because if the love is fake, then it’s not love… exactly, but think about this. How many people are in relationships right now for every other reason except love? A lot! You know why? Because to them, it beats being lonely. So, the truth of the matter is, for many people, although they have a strong desire to be in love, they’ll settle for not being lonely… but is it worth it?… Let’s talk about it.

Love takes time, so in the beginning stage of any relationship, it’s going to always be off to a great start, but this is because you’re just getting to know the person, and this is where many of us make our mistake. We see this great side of the person we’re dating and we make this one sided decision that this person could be the one. The next thing you know we’re all in, when we really don’t know the full person. We just see the side we want to see and that’s what we run with. Then when crap hits the fan, all hell breaks loose and we’re like… “Okay, you’re not the person I gave my heart to.” Ummm, yes, they are! That’s why it’s important to know who you’re giving your heart to. You need to see the good, bad and ugly side of the person! Not just the good or not just the good words your ears are itching to hear! No one is perfect, but you have to decide if the person’s worth it. No one can make that decision for you. In my opinion, I think it’s okay to date a person you don’t love, I mean, you have to find out who a person is before you choose to be in love them. 🤷🏾‍♀️Yes, being in love is a choice. Nobody forces you to be in love. You make time, put in the effort and commit to loving a person on your own. Many people believe that you have no control over love, but you do. I will say though, when it’s real, it’s forever and real love isn’t something you can turn on and off like a light switch.  Anyway, yes it’s okay to date a person you don’t love (this does not include sex) but it’s not okay to make a long term relationship decision with someone you don’t love because you’re going into it for the wrong reasons. It’s like working a job you hate all of your life, but holding on to it for the benefits! It’s killing you! You’re miserable and you’re not living purposefully or up to your full God given potential! God created us to love, the right way, the real way, His way! So, no. If you’re in a relationship for any reason except love, it’s not going to make it. Why? Because your heart will be elsewhere. I know in the old days of our grandparents, great grandparents and ancestors, that they married for stability and love came later but they also chose to deal with decades if not a lifetime of infidelity and their husbands making families with his mistress. Today’s a new day though! Women have their own careers and are making their own money, and they desire real love more than money (He still needs to have a job though lol). Back in the days of our ancestors, women weren’t allowed to do many of the freedoms we enjoy as women today. So, again staying with someone you don’t love isn’t worth it, because it’s going to end in disaster, because at any moment that person can choose to walk out on you and leave you lacking the very things you needed from them in the first place. It’s important to be everything to ourselves first, this way we won’t feel the need to settle for less than real love, for the sake of validation or security. Let’s work on loving ourselves, for real! Not just saying it or putting on fancy clothes or makeup. I’m talking about deeply, truly loving ourselves, flaws and all! Let’s work on our purpose and stay focused on God. Let’s work on being successful in our careers and in life, and real love will come. We just have to stay focus and not settle.

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