When backup plans backfire.

Backup plans are great to have in case plan A doesn’t work. You always want to have that extra cushion or protection just in case life throws you one of those unexpected curve balls. A good backup plan keeps things going according to plan, except when it comes to being in a committed relationship. If you are single and in the dating field, then that’s different. You’re supposed to date, and get to know people until you find that special someone. Once you find that special someone and have made a commitment to that person to be monogamous, then all other extra curricular activities involving other potential mates should cease, or should have already been put to an end. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen, and that’s when backup plans go wrong… Why do some people have backup plans if they’re “supposedly” in a committed relationship. Well, one reason is fear. I know a lot of people may think it’s because they’re selfish and although that’s true too, I believe that more than them being selfish, they’re scared! Let’s face it, most of us have been heartbroken at one point or another in our lives, and once your heart has been broken, you’re cautious with who gets access to it in the future. Not only that but some people’s way of providing an extra layer of protection around their hearts is to have a backup plan or “side piece”. No, it’s not fair, but I’m telling you what I know. Sometimes the relationship is going so well, that a damaged person will get a backup plan because they believe it’s too good to be true and just in case the relationship goes sour, they’ll have a sweet deal waiting in the wings. The crazy thing about this type of backup plan is that it’s an unending cycle and you’re basically setting yourself up for failure by #1, not giving yourself time to fully heal from the previous relationship. You can’t get over someone you love by relationship hopping! Love takes time to get over. #2, you’re not giving the current relationship a fighting chance. #3, you’re hindering yourself from experiencing what could potentially be or become real love. Let’s face it, if you need a side piece, you have trust issues. More than likely you feel like at some point the person you’re with is going to hurt you and instead of you feeling sorry for yourself like last time, you’ll ride off into the sunset with number two. I’m just trying to give someone perspective because it’s not always about a person being a “dog” or a “thot” or whatever other names you can think of. Sometimes people are just hurting and the only way they believe that they can suppress the pain is to have a backup plan. This is not a way to excuse unfaithful behavior, I’m just saying know who you’re getting into these relationships with, and if you’re not over your ex, don’t jump into a new relationship until you’ve fully healed; otherwise you’ll keep carrying the same baggage from one person to another. I think society as a whole needs to stop putting so much emphasis on appearing to be alright or better and actually get the help needed to heal. Whether it’s talking to a therapist, pastor, friend, and hey… let’s not forget JESUS! He wants you to talk to Him about EVERYTHING! Nothing is off limits! If those inner feelings aren’t expressed and healing doesn’t take place, the world will continue this vicious cycle of hurt people hurting other people…

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