Why do some people stay in toxic relationships? Is it love? Is it fear? Is it comfort? Obligation? What is it?
It could be any of these things, and although love isn’t toxic, a person could very well fall in love with a toxic individual and stay because they feel “obligated” out of loyalty. They may feel like their loyalty to the toxic individual, will save them, but no matter how good you are to someone, a person must desire and make an honest effort to change themselves and seek God to not only help them change but to deliver them from themselves. Listen, real love isn’t is not only about being loyal to them, it’s about being loyal to you. You shouldn’t stay in a toxic relationship where your love, kindness AND MONEY, is being constantly misused. No type of abuse is okay, whether it’s physical, emotional, sexual or financial. Don’t get comfortable with living in fear. Fear that if you leave no one will love you better, or fear that if you walk away from that toxic individual, that you’re the one who’ll be at a disadvantage or at a loss. Listen, if no one else loves you better, you must learn to love yourself better, even if that means being alone for a while. Real love begins with accepting God’s love for you, loving Him in return and loving yourself. Never think that you’re the one missing out if you choose to walk away from a toxic relationship. That person is the one who’s missing out.
Real love is mutual. It’s about realizing that when it comes to any type of relationship, the love you show to that individual should be reciprocated. If it’s not, then it’s best to love that individual from a distance. Otherwise, you’ll begin to harbor unhealthy feelings towards that person causing you to become toxic and bitter. Look, it’s easy to say that you’re staying for the kids, or you’re staying out of sympathy, or financial reasons, or in hopes that one day the person will change. I get it. This post isn’t coming from someone who’s just giving out advice and hasn’t been in love with toxicity. I’ve been there and done that. I even bought the T shirt, but I had to wake up one day and realize that walking away for the sake of your peace of mind is not selfish, it’s called self care. We weren’t created to play God and try our best to change people. It is our duty to pray for them and lead them to God, but we can’t force them to do right by God or by us. You can’t successfully walk in your purpose if you’re preoccupied with trying to salvage a toxic relationship. It takes two… and if that individual isn’t working with you to save the relationship, then they’re hindering you from finding real love and the many other blessings that awaits you. Sometimes you have to let go of what you have in order to receive something better.