Present secrets and past pains: A short story.

“I never planned on it to happen. It just did!” I said to my cousin, who peeked at me from beneath her oversized sunglasses. “Okay, Tamara… so let me get this straight… What you’re trying to tell me is, you didn’t mean to have sex with your half sister’s fiancé, you just tripped and fell into his lap, while he was naked? And if that wasn’t enough, you spent the night with him, and this has been going on for over a year? Hmmm. Okay,” my cousin Crystal said sarcastically with a smirk on her face. “Listen, Tamara, you’ve made your bed, and now you gotta lay in it. Now, I hate to put you out of my house, but I have company coming over in thirty minutes, and I need to finish packing.” “Packing? Where are you going?” “Listen Tamara, I know that you’re used to me dropping everything and coming to your rescue, or giving you sound advice when you need it, but you’re going to need to figure this one out on your own. I’ve given you all the wisdom I have, but somehow in the end, you always think with your feelings instead of using common sense. Now, I’ve felt sorry for you in the past, because I know that you’ve been through some things that causes you not to make the best decisions when it comes to relationships, but I’m done feeling sorry. You need to grow up cuz. You can’t keep allowing your pain to become everyone else’s. You have not only pulled a fast one on your half sister, but you’ve pulled a fast one on me. You’re telling me that not only are you sleeping with her fiancé, but your son is his child, and you’ve had some other man thinking it’s his kid the whole time?” She threw her hands up, and put one hand on her forehead and shook her head. “Tamara, that’s trifling. Why are you coming to me? Does Detrick know that you all share not only this secret of sleeping together but also that you both share a son?” “He’s the one that said that we should get a blood test, because he said he believes he’s his son.“ “Look Tamara, I’m praying for you, and I feel for you, I really do, but you know that the Word of God says, you reap what you sow.” I know that’s not what you want to hear, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’m making things worse, but maybe I’ve babied you for far too long by excusing some of your not so bright decisions and blaming it on you being molested when you were a child, but it’s time to stop blaming your past for the poor choices that you are making in life. There is no excuse to being a self centered human being, even if a person has a terrible past. You have to really seek God. Get professional counseling too. God has people set in place that will help you sort out your problems and get through the pain, but ultimately it’s up to you. You can’t carry the weight of your past, you have to let go and let God. Now, your sister may not forgive you, but God will, if you’re sincere and if you put an end to this. Come clean. You decide how, but don’t keep carrying around this secret, because who do you think you’re protecting? You’re not protecting him, you, your sister or your son, or the other baby daddy in question. The more you hold on to this secret, the more destruction you will cause. You may think you love Detrick, but that’s not love. It’s a secret, and sometimes secrets are exciting… until it’s not a secret anymore. It’s time to stop allowing the hurt of your past, to cause you a lifetime of pain. It’s not fair what happened to you. It’s not fair what y’all are doing to these innocent people involved. Life isn’t fair, but it is what you make it. I love you, but it’s time to do what’s right and not what you feel.”

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