Bratty me… 😒

“Lord, why can’t you make it easier?” This is the question I asked God today, and He immediately replied, “Why can’t you trust me?” I hate going through, and currently that’s exactly what I’m doing… GOING THROUGH! It seems like my faith is constantly being tested, and I’m just going to keep it real, a lot of times I literally freak out when I believe for God to come through one way, and He doesn’t. Just as I was typing the previous sentence, He came through in a way that said, “Everything will be okay.”

He didn’t come through my way, but He came through His way. He didn’t come through in my timing, nevertheless, He was right on time. You see, if it was up to me, I’d never have any issues. I’d never have days that I cried, or felt lonely, hurt or afraid. Life would be smooth sailing. Instead this is what my life feels like…

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Yeah, I’m the man who got kicked in water… As if getting kicked in the butt with two feet isn’t enough. 😒

Jesus be a life guard, a life jacket and a rescue boat, because truth is I’m tired! I feel exactly how the disciples felt when Jesus was asleep on the boat, and the wind and waves came and tossed the boat about and they woke Jesus up saying, “Lord! Save us! We’re going to die!” I know that He is with me, but I don’t like being uncomfortable. I don’t like when the storms of life comes raging.

I’m going to keep it one hundred… I’m the bratty child of God. I want him to always tell me yes and I always want him to give me what I want. 🤷🏾‍♀️ But like a good good Father, He doesn’t always say yes, and He doesn’t always give me what I want.

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You know why, because if He did, there wouldn’t be a need for faith. It would be too easy for us as people. We’d forget about what God has done and begin to think we’ve accomplished everything we have in life, on our own. We wouldn’t be appreciative. We’d think it’s what He supposed to do.

But His grace is sufficient ( 2 Corinthians 12:9), and it keeps me humble. I know one hundred percent that on my own, I don’t deserve any of the blessings He’s given me. So, why do I throw a temper tantrum when He doesn’t come through like I want Him to? Because I become afraid and anxious. I encourage thousands of people across the U.S. everyday, but that doesn’t mean I’m not human.

I experience the same things that everyone else  experience. 1 Peter 5:9 (NLT) “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.“ I fall short and spiritually, I’m pretty sure that I fall out like a two year old having a fit when his or her parent takes something from them or tells them no.  I know God probably be like, I can’t take you no where child! 🤦🏾‍♀️

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Which is probably why I keep going through the same type of test. I know He’s trying to strengthen my faith, because He literally can’t take me anywhere if I let every obstacle that I face, get me upset. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m only upset for a second, and then the Holy Spirit gets me in check, but I believe God wants me to be more consistent in my faith. When my situation looks impossible, instead of getting upset, He wants me to pray for wisdom and direction.

He wants me to trust Him that He already knew I’d face that obstacle, but He wants me to believe, and I do. I just have to learn to stop making things that I go through all about me, and learn to ask Him, “God, what do you require of me?” Hopefully I ace this test soon, because I’m tired of taking it. I know that once I past this test, there will be another one that I need to pass, but once I pass this one, I will have the wisdom to know how to deal with the next one. Thank God for Jesus, because I’m a hot mess with Him, so there’s no telling what or where I’d be without Him.

If you are going through like I am, repeating the same tests, and it feels like you’re stuck. I want you to know that God is only trying to strengthen our faith and teach you to exercise patience. The thing about strengthening one’s faith is, or learning patience is, you must be tested. 🤷🏾‍♀️ There’s no way around it. But we can do this, be encouraged! Romans 5:4, “And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”

I know it’s frustrating not knowing what God’s going to do in your personal situation. The anxiety is real when facing the unknown. But it’s okay not to know, because He knows what’s best, even if we throw a fit! Sometimes we believe too small, so He allows us to face a challenge, so that our faith becomes bigger, bolder, brighter! You’re not really believing God, when you can clearly see a way.

Faith isn’t about everything going good and having everything under your control. Real faith is not seeing a way, but believing God will make a way. Real faith facing situations that’s out of your control but believing no matter what God is in control. Real faith is believing God can, but even if He doesn’t, you continue to trust Him anyway. Real faith is believing that God knows and wants what’s best for you even when He tells you no or doesn’t come through like you expected Him to.

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