Selfishness and pain.

God has a sense of humor. When you’re going through something, He sends people, uses places and things to send you a specific message and lighten your heart. I have challenges like everyone else. One of my challenges in life is learning to turn people (in specific family) loose when they refuse to want and do better in life. I’m going to be honest, I do all I can to lead them the right way, but sometimes it’s unappreciated and when this happens, I’ve learned to pray for them and don’t worry about them, because it’s literally all you can do.

It’s so funny because I’m currently working on a book/journal teaching people how to let go and let God. I get asked a lot, “How does a person let go and let God?” The answer is simple in my head, but in my heart, I struggle to let go. I struggle because I know what the streets can do to a person. I struggle because I know what it’s like for your family to be destroyed by selfishness and careless actions.

I struggle because I’ve went through what the loved one I’m trying to save, is going through, and I don’t want that person to go through the same things I did. Doing things apart from God may seem freeing, but you just end up in bondage. A person may go out into the world to look for healing, only to come back in even more pain. As much as we love our family, whether it’s a spouse, child, sibling, cousin, parent or whoever, it’s important to know that, we cannot save people… no matter how much we love them.

Acts 4:12 (CEV)

Only Jesus has the power to save! His name is the only one in all the world that can save anyone.

I accept that, but you know what I can’t accept? When someone’s careless actions directly affects you and other loved ones, especially when the person who’s being careless is a loved one too! I’m like come on, can’t you see what you’re doing to everyone else, not to mention yourself! I try to make them see the pain they’re causing others, but the funny thing about that is, they’re in pain themselves… and it’s hard to heal someone else when you’re consumed with your own pain. Pain has a funny way of keeping a person focused only on self… ask anyone who’s ever went through anything in life.

Anyway, I’ve come to realize it’s not me, it’s them… period. When people or a person you love deliberately hurts you again, and again, it has nothing to do with whether or not you’re doing something wrong, it has everything to do with them… and that’s just something you can’t fix. The only person who can fix that is them, and God. Even God don’t force us to get our lives together, we have to make a choice and then trust Him to help us. Change is about making a daily decision to be different and choosing to do better.

So, the humor part… I went into my Bitmoji stories on Snapchat (because a mini cartoon of me is both funny and interesting). By the way, they’re briefly entertaining. Anyway, Godzilla was blowing fire and running rampant outside of my Bitmoji’s home. My Bitmoji was looking out the window and worried that Godzilla was going to destroy her home, she talked to a friend who was over, and said, “I know it’s selfish, but I’m worried about Godzilla only destroying my home!”

The friend who was over told her (and this is no lie), “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Learn to change the things you can’t accept, and accept the things you cannot change.” 😱If you don’t think God doesn’t speak through cartoons, you better read that again! Then the Bitmoji friend told me to sit down and play a game while Godzilla continued to run rampant outside my cartoon home. Putting all of this into perspective, this means that you can’t control everything, so why worry?

Continue with your life. Also, when the cartoon Godzilla was running rampant outside of my Bitmoji’s home, she wasn’t worried about other people’s home being destroyed, she was worried about her home. It reminded me that it’s natural to want to keep your home (family) safe. It’s not that you don’t care about other people’s family (or in that case home), it’s just that things hit differently when you’re directly affected. It also made me realize that what I mentioned above, about when people are in pain, it causes them to “focus on self,” is so true.

Whether we’re the cause of our own pain or the cause of others, that pain is the consequence of our own selfishness. How we respond to that pain can also be selfish, especially if you refuse to let go and let God, by holding onto a person longer than you should or trying to force change on someone.

Note to self: Stop trying to handle things on your own… That’s selfish.

It’s time to stop trying to control the things we can’t, and change the things we can, and move on with our lives, leaving the rest up to God.

You may think you’re being strong, or not being a bother to God or others by trying to control the situation yourself, but that’s not strength, that’s selfishness… You see how being in pain works?… Let go and let GOD! In Jesus name. 🙏🏾

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